Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It is very important for people to watch out where they are spending their time during their life, and they have to be careful not to waste their days in things will not benefit them in their future. However, these days, I think people are spending too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. I feel this way for two reasons, which I am going to explain on the following essay.
To begain with, if we scroll any social media account such as Facebook or instagram, we will recognize that most of posts are about interesting things people did during their day. In addition to that, they post new things every few hours, which mean they are giving us a full coverage of what they are doing continuously, and it is very obvious that most of their time go on personal enjoyment only. For instance, yesterday, I opened the instagram account of a popular influncer on my country. there was hundreds of pictures about what he did in one of his trip last summer. In fact, there were no single image about his study or his job. In response, when I asked my brother about him, he laughed an said that this is the new way of work. people spent their time having fun, and they got money from telling others what they did.
Second, doing an important or beneficial thing is boring, even though it is crucial to us, but it is difficult and not exciting at all. For example, my brother used to be a smart student in comparison to his friends. In his high school, his goal was to get the needed score for medical school attending. He studied more than eight hours a day to achieve it, but at that time his friends were playing and hanging out together. In contrast, he worked hard for his dream, and now, he is preparing to open his own clinic in few weeks.
In conclusion, I strongly agree that people spend too much time on their enjoyment rather than on what they have to do, and that not only because what I see on social media but also it is undeniable that it is hard to do what we must do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 109, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the posts') or simply say ''most posts''.
Suggestion: most of the posts; most posts
...ok or instagram, we will recognize that most of posts are about interesting things people did...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 494, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...t of a popular influncer on my country. there was hundreds of pictures about what he ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 597, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...trip last summer. In fact, there were no single image about his study or his job....
^^
Line 2, column 699, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... asked my brother about him, he laughed an said that this is the new way of work. ...
^^
Line 2, column 741, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
... said that this is the new way of work. people spent their time having fun, and they g...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, second, so, as to, for example, for instance, i feel, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1664.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.36745406824 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28705784194 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.538057742782 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 504.0 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.063641036 48.9658058833 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.0 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8125 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.45110844103 165% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.364072962039 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112248061707 0.076458572812 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.182798757149 0.0737576698707 248% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.264913807496 0.150856017488 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.15549795094 0.0645574589148 241% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.51 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.36 10.9000537634 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.22 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.