Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion.
It is easier than before that people know about fashion and buy cloths. Some people may state that emphasis on personal appearance and fashion is necessary while others argue that people should put more attention on their characteristics like interests or specialty. In my opinion, I agree with the statement that people put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion for several reasons. On the other hand, we have other things more important than looks.
First of all, people spend too much money on fashion. For example, teenagers using their credit card to buy lots of cloths which may bring overdraft for them. Actually, the money they spend and the card they use are come from their parents. The problems are not only happened on the youngers but also the workers. To illustrate, one of my neighbors, Amy, who always over spend her salaries on popular cosmetics. The money she spends much more, the salaries she has to earn more. As a result, she doesn’t deposit any money in her account as an emergency use.
Second, personal appearance and fashion is the waste of resources. To be specific, there are many textile factories in Africa. However, the employees who work there did not earn enough money and the demand of plastic and textile increase strongly which make people buying clothes too easy and causing the waste of resources. In the end, it will be a vicious circle in the fashion industry.
Third, personal characteristics are more important than appearance. To be specific, even cloths and shoes can decorate people’s looks, but cannot decide their behavior. In addition, if we spend time on our interests and specialty, we can find our value in the lives. My sister who is confuse about her personality but after study aboard, she knows what can she do and she becomes a confident person after she come back from foreign country.
Definitely, some people may state that personal appearance and fashion can attract more friends and good identify. Nevertheless, outfits are changeable but inside character is a more crucial factor. To conclude, I agree with the statement that people today put too much emphasis on personal appearance and fashion for these reasons.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 290, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'confused'.
Suggestion: confused
...ur value in the lives. My sister who is confuse about her personality but after study a...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, second, so, third, while, as to, for example, in addition, as a result, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1858.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 367.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06267029973 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37689890912 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61099978934 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523160762943 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.6477753317 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.4545454545 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6818181818 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.36363636364 5.45110844103 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.33464509743 0.236089414692 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104420457252 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.162595359562 0.0737576698707 220% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20953210925 0.150856017488 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.155992477694 0.0645574589148 242% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.77 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.