Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers
A growing tendency has been concentrated on the private enjoyment among all modern people since the beginning of the current century. There are a number of people who subscribe to the theory that most of the individuals spend more time on their hobbies and enjoyment-works, however, others disagree. In my own perspective, I do believe that the first theory is much more believable than the second one for two convincing reasons which are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
First of all, with the advent of modernity, the values of current people have been changing constantly in an opposite direction. To be more specific, having both mental and physical comfort make each individual envisioning a completely safe future. Therefore, no need to working hard as their progenitors is appreciable in all developed societies. To illustrate this point, a novel international investigation was conducted in around ten countries to substantiate the relation between development and tending more to do hobbies. Surprisingly, the results demonstrated that more than 85 percent of people prefer to have more free time for doing their own leisure activities rather than performing their rudimentary duties. This study proposes that as long as most of the parents insist on doing their detrimental supporting behavior, children will not be able to master their dependence character, as a result, we should expect more inclination in doing actions that are liked to do.
Secondly, we all are susceptible to the influence of media like TV shows and movies. As a matter of fact, an unprecedented approach toward new lifestyle focusing on consuming habit has been taken into account. Therefore, having myriad television programs tempting the society to spend as much as possible has become an inevitable part of our new life which result in doing just those inconclusive activities. Both each person in a modern society and I have an analogous experience in this regard. From more than 30 years in China, all the media have been working hard to produce child-oriented cartoons and advertisements in which a deceptive image of life in perfectly ornamented.Consequently, the new generation of our people has accepted the value of money and spending it in the fields that bring the most pleasure for them. It should be noted that if our politicians and other influential people such as actors and singers tried a little to prevent this event to happen, we would have a more industrial youth not only trying hard for their goals but also spending sufficient time for other parts of their life like enjoyable hobbies.
In sum, above form aforementioned explanation, it is obvious that I do believe that modern people spend their time doing leisure activity. That is just because of the modernity that changes all the values and also for the effect of media that tempt people to spend more money and have fun. That's why we are not on the appropriate line and should change our mind to have a better future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 682, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Consequently
...e image of life in perfectly ornamented.Consequently, the new generation of our people has a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 291, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...eople to spend more money and have fun. Thats why we are not on the appropriate line ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, such as, as a matter of fact, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2508.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 492.0 407.700716846 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.09756097561 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70967865282 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00655309136 2.67179642975 113% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 212.727598566 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.522357723577 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 787.5 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 70.1458797396 48.9658058833 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.333333333 100.406767564 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3333333333 20.6045352989 133% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.38888888889 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226778422461 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0739976063519 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.077121791887 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159593054583 0.150856017488 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0390108015368 0.0645574589148 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 86.8835125448 148% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.