Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people believe that doing the time we dedicate to things we enjoy or things we do for personal enjoyment do not exceed the time we must allot for things we should do. However, I think that we focus more on our personal enjoyments and things that we like these days rather then devoting the appropriate or the necessary amount of time things that should be done. The reasons that bolster my opinion are explained in the following three paragraphs.
Firstly, with the advent of science and technology the sources from which we derive pleasure and enjoyment has also increased. Thus our predilections to these everyday new sources contribute to our ill time management and dedicating lesser time to important tasks. For example, games that used to be on computers and PCs are now on the mobile phones and with time they have become they have become so ecumenical that they are a widespread source of enjoyment. An example of a game called 'PUBG' can be given which had a customer base of millions of people deriving enjoyment from this game for long hours. A survey showed that the players mostly, children spent long hours enjoying in the game, as long as five hours a day. Had this not been the case the five hours that the child devotes to game, he or she could have devoted a portion of it into something important like, completing their assignments for school. This goes to show that how with the increase in the sources of enjoyment people nowadays spent more time personal enjoyment.
Secondly, again with the advent of science and technology, important things that people used to do in their quotidian lives are being supplanted by technological enhancements which saves more time. This extra time that could have been spent wisely, unfortunately in most cases in devoured by tempting personal enjoyment means. For example, an office employee working with data would have to manually perform statistical calculations and project the outcome or provide prognostications. The same work is done by computers that are intelligent enough to give us the answers we need in a split second. Had such computers and powerful devices not been developed we would've required more time to do the same. Thus, the time most people save due to this technological advancements that facilitate their work can now devote more time to personal enjoyments.
Lastly, People have become more self oriented and focus more on their mental well being than they used to earlier. For example, it has been seen in studies that people in contemporary times suffer more from mental health problems like depression and lonelyness and thus many people to avoid such issues intuitively divert more towards personal enjoyment and things that bring pleasure and joy. Had the stigma regarding mental health not been challenged as it is now in present times, more people would've been doing important things and contributing to important work, but they would have been able to do so till the point their constantly deteriorating mental health reached the inflection pint and they plunged into depression or similar issues. Thus more people do things for personal enjoyment these days and possibly more than important things.
I understand this is a complex issue with people on both sides. My opinion that people do spend more time on personal enjoyment, often too much, rather than things that should be done are supported by the above reasonings.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 278, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
...d things that we like these days rather then devoting the appropriate or the necessa...
^^^^
Line 2, column 127, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...asure and enjoyment has also increased. Thus our predilections to these everyday new...
^^^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: would've
... powerful devices not been developed we wouldve required more time to do the same. Thus...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 496, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: would've
...it is now in present times, more people wouldve been doing important things and contrib...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 747, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nged into depression or similar issues. Thus more people do things for personal enjo...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, lastly, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well, for example, i think, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2849.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 572.0 407.700716846 140% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98076923077 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89045207381 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6159706114 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 212.727598566 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456293706294 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 885.6 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.9944409196 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.5 100.406767564 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.90909090909 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.353608591292 0.236089414692 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108065335291 0.076458572812 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0989127813771 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.235582893124 0.150856017488 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0877206414537 0.0645574589148 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.9 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 86.8835125448 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.