Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey are too strict.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people might claim that the rules these days are severly harsh on young people. However, I believe that due to certain circumstances, such as being able to access any type of information that may be inappropriate to children and having multiple attractions that is detrimental to their developement, rules should be strict. The detail to the reasons I will present will be elaborated in more detail below.
First of all, since technology advanced and electronical devices such as mobile phone and computer have been developed, children are fully exposed without any protection to diverse information. It has become too easy for them to access information that are highly inappropriate and may interfere with the development of their personality and perspective. Some statstics claim that children are becoming desensitized to sexual and violent contents and even imitate what they have learned. Due to this, the crime rate of teenagers being involved in sexual harrassment such as rape have increased exponentially. Because children are still in the process of fully developing moral standards and perspective, they are susceptible to information that are corrupted. To prevent this, rules should force children in accessing inappropriate information in order to prevent them from being developed in a wrong way.
Similarly, unlike the past, there are multiple compelling attractions such as video games, which can affect children in a detrimental way. In the past, there was no need for the society to place strict rules on chilren because there weren't any fun activities that could cause harm. However, nowadays, with the development of video games, children easily get addicted to such games. Children are able to feel some sort of achievement and happiness during playing video games because unlike the real world, they can pursue actions in the way they desire, leading them to become alienated from the real world. Due to this, they lose the opportunity of developing social skills and the capacity to broaden their perspective due to lack of achievement in knowledge.
To sum up, due to technological advancement, children are able to access inappropriate information and get addicted to video games, where both can cause harmful effects on their development. To prevent this, strict rules should be placed upon children to have them grow in a proper way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 890, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wrong way" with adverb for "wrong"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...er to prevent them from being developed in a wrong way. Similarly, unlike the past, there are...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a detrimental way" with adverb for "detrimental"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... video games, which can affect children in a detrimental way. In the past, there was no need for the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 233, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...e strict rules on chilren because there werent any fun activities that could cause har...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 271, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... placed upon children to have them grow in a proper way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, may, similarly, so, still, sort of, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1994.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 377.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28912466844 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4064143971 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92018467879 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501326259947 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 630.0 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.907813537 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.625 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5625 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0602350678952 0.236089414692 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0248408825007 0.076458572812 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0305540577816 0.0737576698707 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0435462458074 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0214895136562 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 86.8835125448 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.