Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this increasingly complex world, all individuals in different ranges of ages are subjected to a vast variety of information sources. There are widely differing views on the matter of permitting kids to be exposed to television advertisements. Some people would suggest that TV advertising is not detrimental for kids. I strongly believe that putting kids as a goal of advertisements can lead to irreparable problems for children. The reasons to substantiate my points of view are presented as follows.
First of all, it is vital that we consider the negative effects of watching advertisements for their impacts on kids’ unconsciousness. Each advertisement is created by companies just considering their effects on children’s consciousness and trying to persuade and attract their attention, although it can be responsible for physiological damages by having side effects on kids’ healthy lifestyle. One particularly good example of this is advertisement of all kinds of junk food which result in some health problems and changing children’s eating habits.
Further and even more importantly, though, kids do not have the ability to tell what is good for them and what is not, and they do not know how to react to the advertisements and they do what the advertisements say. For instance, I have a nephew who has four years old and like to spend more time watching television. One day he was watching an advertisement that by wearing a jacket you could fly, after finishing the advertisement my nephew stood and tried to fly like what he saw on the television. So advertisements have a direct impact on our children’s behavior and that is for parents do not let their kids to be directed to any kind of advertisements, and for government to take some considerations in order to control them.
To sum up, having considered the aforementioned reasons, I once again reaffirm my position that kids’ should be controlled in the way they are exposed to advertisements. This is because of the advertisements’ side effects on children’s unconsciousness and kids’ inability to detect the good advertisements from bad one.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ints of view are presented as follows. First of all, it is vital that we consid...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hanging children's eating habits. Further and even more importantly, thoug...
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Line 5, column 251, Rule ID: HAVE_CD_YEARS[1]
Message: This phrase is used with 'be': 'is four years old'.
Suggestion: is four years old
... say. For instance, I have a nephew who has four years old and like to spend more time watching te...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, so, for instance, kind of, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1824.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 345.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28695652174 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.60396756792 2.67179642975 135% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.553623188406 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 561.6 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.26313235 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.285714286 100.406767564 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6428571429 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35714285714 5.45110844103 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.143949586709 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0535052630522 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0276300052999 0.0737576698707 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0906981674242 0.150856017488 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0194620180777 0.0645574589148 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 11.7677419355 134% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.