Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (ages five to ten) should be required to study art and music in addition to math, science, history and language.
Learning at the ages before 10 years is very important because, psychologically speaking, the characteristic of human beings will be shaped chiefly in this period. One of the predominant places to learn is school in which there are many controversies about the educational materials. Even though some people are the opinion that the children in the very ages must be taught just in the matters like science, math and so on; but I, personally, subscribe to this idea that learning art and music along with those science materials is vital for children. The most effective way to release the stress and surplus energy is playing an instrument or doing an art work like painting. As all of us now know about the Theory of Multiple Intelligences, one of them is musical intelligence which bring people a lot of boons for coping with life.
In first place, children unlike adult cannot talk truly and meaningfully about their stress and pressure, so accordingly they have not enough chances to get a consultant in order to handle their minds problem which is used a lot by adults. It is not to mention that getting mental problem will not happen just for adults, I mean it is probable the children experience such a problem in their lives. Some children bother from congenital mental disorder like depression or contemporary mental problem like getting stress because of the bad condition of their lives. Studying art and music during school gives them a sure hand to deal with their both contemporary and congenital mental problems. Coping with such the problems is important to gain success in other aspects of life such as learning science materials in school. For instance, my brother and his wife are always arguing in their home, in fact they have a constant conflict. Their daughter showed a lot of evidence of stress disorder like nail-biting, and also weakness of learning in school. After a while when she was assigned in a music class, her stress has gradually disappeared and her learning ability have conspicuously boosted.
Secondly, the traditional theory about human beings' intelligence which has some limited sorted, gives way to new one, Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Musical intelligence and Visual-spatial are two groups of them by both of which the people are more able to learn a lot of things. The people who asses high musical intelligence can learn new language easier than the rest of people, they can learn lessons by making a rhythm of words and use of the very intelligence to remember later, to name but a few. Also, the people with high Visual-spatial intelligence can learn things more effectively by using their image memory. The very intelligences of children at the age of five to ten years can be prompted easily and effectively which give them a reliable way to learn more and more things. They will have a lot to learn as their school tasks, social matters in their lives and more like these. By making active these intelligences, they have more opportunity to meet their future goals. For instance, my peer cousin studied in a school in which the teacher had to teach art and music. He has additional abilities to memorize and learn everything by making picture and composing poem and rhythmical words.
In summary, by taking all of these into account, in my opinion, teaching art and music to five to ten years-old children is vital. It helps them to get rid of mental disorder, and also it makes a good condition to learn in school, society and so forth more effective.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 46, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'beings'' or 'being's'?
Suggestion: beings'; being's
...dly, the traditional theory about human beings intelligence which has some limited sor...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, if, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, i mean, in fact, in summary, such as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 13.8261648746 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 94.0 52.1666666667 180% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2917.0 1977.66487455 147% => OK
No of words: 598.0 407.700716846 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8779264214 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94510247834 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74502542711 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 282.0 212.727598566 133% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471571906355 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 905.4 618.680645161 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.7515228774 48.9658058833 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.541666667 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9166666667 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.375 5.45110844103 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166249374789 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0529184932178 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0502654547787 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117568185148 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368740706074 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 86.8835125448 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.