Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no doubt that people all around the world should claim for their privacy rights and prevent it from disturbance. However, many people are eager in tracking famous entertainers and athletes and many personal affairs of themselves are exposed to the world . As I am concerned, entertainers and athletes deserve to have privacy like every one of us ,nobody should be tracked and be disturbed by other people.

First of all , many people are extremely eager for tracking entertainers and athletes , but some of these would lead to secure accidents. For example , many years ago once a famous movie star was driving to home , but there was a car followed by his which we call it "paparazzi". The movie star wanted to get rid of the paparazzi so he boosted up and drove so fast that broke the limit of speed , and unfortunately his car went out of control, jumped a curb and struck a lamppost . There are many other stuffs like that lead a bad ending , which was caused by illegal tracking. So people should aware of these affairs and learn not to disturb others by missing personal privacy of others.

The second factor which should be taken to the consideration is, the athletes and entertainer especially the children stars can easily be influenced by those people who are fans of them . For example, a girl singer just 12 years old attended in a social media where people can share their daily life and followed by the other one. However , some of these people are aggressive to others and few of them once talked about something bad thing about personal thing of the girl , so the girl got hurt seriously and became in depression . The word is a knife , can hurt people directly. We can prevent these things by protecting personal privacy .

In brief, by contemplating all the reasons mentioned above, I am pretty convinced that there are many reasons to foster the idea that famous people deserve to have more privacy.

Votes
Average: 7 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 263, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s of themselves are exposed to the world . As I am concerned, entertainers and ath...
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Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...rve to have privacy like every one of us ,nobody should be tracked and be disturbe...
^^
Line 3, column 13, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...sturbed by other people. First of all , many people are extremely eager for tra...
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Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r for tracking entertainers and athletes , but some of these would lead to secure ...
^^
Line 3, column 150, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ld lead to secure accidents. For example , many years ago once a famous movie star...
^^
Line 3, column 212, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... a famous movie star was driving to home , but there was a car followed by his whi...
^^
Line 3, column 405, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ve so fast that broke the limit of speed , and unfortunately his car went out of c...
^^
Line 3, column 490, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...rol, jumped a curb and struck a lamppost . There are many other stuffs like that l...
^^
Line 3, column 548, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...other stuffs like that lead a bad ending , which was caused by illegal tracking. S...
^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...an easily be influenced by those people who are fans of them . For example, a girl sin...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 186, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ced by those people who are fans of them . For example, a girl singer just 12 yea...
^^
Line 5, column 208, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o are fans of them . For example, a girl singer just 12 years old attended in a s...
^^
Line 5, column 267, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ars old attended in a social media where people can share their daily life and fo...
^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e and followed by the other one. However , some of these people are aggressive to ...
^^
Line 5, column 476, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d thing about personal thing of the girl , so the girl got hurt seriously and beca...
^^
Line 5, column 534, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... hurt seriously and became in depression . The word is a knife , can hurt people d...
^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...came in depression . The word is a knife , can hurt people directly. We can preven...
^^
Line 5, column 643, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...se things by protecting personal privacy . In brief, by contemplating all the r...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, so, for example, in brief, no doubt, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1599.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 334.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7874251497 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68656339393 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.517964071856 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 507.6 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 9.59856630824 21% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9900721319 48.9658058833 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.214285714 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8571428571 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.5376344086 325% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135539872676 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498503326201 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056994605863 0.0737576698707 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106136478159 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0619358570411 0.0645574589148 96% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.