Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
All people deserve to have a privacy which is dedicated to their personal life with their family members. However, the question is that if famous people are assumed to be given more privacy rather than casual individuals. Accordingly, as my personal opinion, if I was one of the famous persons, I would expect a private environment in which I can feel enough safety in term of my life information, so I firmly agree with followed statement. I prefer convey my total ideology reasonably in subsequent paragraphs.
The first point which is totally obvious for all people is that famous entertainers and athletes are in the center of attention of people who are enthusiastically curious about their personal life. The ordinary people come to them when they are seen in public eyes such as the malls, street, movies, and so forth. The people are eager to talk to them in person and have a memento of the moment being with them, for example, they offer them to make a signature or take a photograph with. Therefore, this excessive appeal of people around is kind of annoying for them. For this reason they sometimes hire a couple of bodyguard to get them rid of such a crowded situation and feel comfortable.
As celebrated persons are beloved by their fans, they are largely expose to offences by ones who are looking for abusing celebrities and pursuing their own benefits. For instance, take a beneficiary person who look mostly like one of the famous singer. In this case by introducing him as such a famous people, he might defraud people and take money versus a merely apparent show of singing. Consistent with this, in today’s world, almost all reputed persons have some social networks accounts in the internet to have interaction with their fans and also get a feedback from them. Hence, this accessibility provides base of mistreating for beneficiary or offensive people who can easily impersonate their account to pursue their goals. In this case, not only does the identity of such a famous person will be endanger, but also his face will be spoilt in society as well.
In conclusion, the sufficient privacy essentially is needed for famous people in order to make them feel secure as much as other usual individuals. Thus, they deserve to have such a privacy since the fame is heavy burthen that have to be carry on back by them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: PERSONAL_OPINION_FRIENDSHIP[1]
Message: Use simply 'opinion'.
Suggestion: opinion
... casual individuals. Accordingly, as my personal opinion, if I was one of the famous persons, I ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 314, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he malls, street, movies, and so forth. The people are eager to talk to them in per...
^^^
Line 2, column 603, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun bodyguard seems to be countable; consider using: 'a couple of bodyguards'.
Suggestion: a couple of bodyguards
...em. For this reason they sometimes hire a couple of bodyguard to get them rid of such a crowded situa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'exposed'.
Suggestion: exposed
...beloved by their fans, they are largely expose to offences by ones who are looking for...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, hence, however, if, look, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for example, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1951.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 403.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.841191067 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48049772903 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68573255728 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533498759305 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 630.0 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.2766009437 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.764705882 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7058823529 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.70588235294 5.45110844103 160% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184140122086 0.236089414692 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0647951568589 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0543882830938 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133587359196 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497775956224 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.38 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.