Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the genesis of the internet and social media, the experts have been discussing the consequences of this new technology. One of the consequences of social media and the internet is that all people can share their private information and, moreover, they can get information about the people's life in a fraction of a second. Now, I feel an urgent need to raise a question which is whether the well-known entertainers and athletes deserve more privacy than they have now. As far as I am concerned, I have a penchant for the opinion that popular people should have more privacy in order to be able to focus on their careers better and save their personal lives. This view holds true for many reasons, most important of which will be aptly fleshed out in the following paragraphs.
The foremost quality of cherishing the privacy of famous people is that we can actually save their private lives. All people have different secrets in their lives that they do not want to reveal them and, furthermore, no one wants to dig up the others' lives in order to find their dark secrets. But, unfortunately, some journalists and photographs bother famous people by taking photos and spreading rumors. Thanks to the social media applications, a rumor can be spread in a second and some of the rumors can destroy their personal lives. Consider a famous athlete who was in affair and photographers published his pictures. I know cheating is not good, but we do not have the right to expose people's secrets.
The other point we should bear in mind is that not only showing respect to the privacy of famous people can save their private lives, but also help them to focus on their careers. When celebrities are busy with a lot of rumors, and every day they have to accept or deny the rumors, they cannot concentrate on their careers appropriately. As an illustration, consider the following example. There was an athlete in my country. He was professional in playing soccer, but every day a new rumor and a picture were on the net. Thus, he got too much busy with these unimportant rumors. At the end, none of the coaches wanted him as he couldn't practice well and he was absent in practice sessions most of the time. As all people in a country love their national athletes, they had better cherish their privacy in order to help them to focus on their careers.
All in all, people had better to show more respect to famous people's privacy, so as to help them to focus on their job and save their private lives. I think disturbing people by digging up their lives is against the human rights.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 288, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'peoples'' or 'people's'?
Suggestion: peoples'; people's
...ver, they can get information about the peoples life in a fraction of a second. Now, I ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 488, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
..., a rumor can be spread in a second and some of the rumors can destroy their personal lives...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 630, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...d, none of the coaches wanted him as he couldnt practice well and he was absent in prac...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 79, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...more respect to famous peoples privacy, so as to help them to focus on their job and sav...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, if, moreover, second, so, thus, well, as to, i feel, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 52.1666666667 117% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 456.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6600877193 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62105577807 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57123709437 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.475877192982 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 660.6 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0043585695 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.19047619 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7142857143 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47619047619 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173280684136 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593603547795 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0652998227674 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113287640779 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.067435976751 0.0645574589148 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 67.08 58.1214874552 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.75 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.