Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
A network is a net worth. In last decades, network start to play an important role in our everyday life such as in the work field and study field. Most of us may think that keeping old friends is more crucial than making new friends because of trustworthy and friendship years, but I believe that having a lot of friends supports to easily reach goals and achievements. In the following paragraphs, I will illustrate why making new friends affect your life in beneficial ways.
Firstly, having new friends makes you stronger than having a few close friends because of your collection of data. we collect data such as about political views, recent news about economic changes, also new opportunities from our surroundings, especially from our friends. who have more data has a chance to gain more opportunity. For example, I have extrovert personality hence I have many friends who interest in different fields. my friends once helped me a lot. when I was a senior in high school, I went to a small party. my friend told me about essay competition about Japan culture. Then, I decided to enter that essay competition because I was interested in writing. that time, I need a lot of research about Japan and Japan culture, but I could not find enough information by reading articles in English and Mongolian because I need more information that written in mother language. Therefore, I asked help from my friend who knows Japanese, and he translated some important articles to me- that helped me a lot. I won that essay competition's prize to travel to Japan for two weeks. This is the first case why having many friends are beneficial to us.
Second, making new friends exercises you to face the real world because when we become employees we face the challenge to communicate with others. What if you have an introvert personality you can challenge yourself to make a new friend because it will help you in future events such as a new job interview, and new contact to find funding. For instance, I once participated in project competition with project funding, but my biggest fair was working with new people and a new team. Even though, I was in fear I decided to work with them as a leader. my communication skill that comes from making new friends helps me to share my idea to members of the group and to listen to theirs because group conflict comes from misunderstanding and lack of patience. Somehow I did manage this project because the whole process of managing members was felt me like new making friendship. when result appeared, our project cannot fund, but we all became friends and the next project of our group could find funding. Briefly, you can exercise yourself before real problem appears.
In conclusion, adapting a new group and a new society is becoming worthy characteristics day by day. making new friends helps you to face new challenges, and to have more information from others.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 116, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...nds because of your collection of data. we collect data such as about political vi...
^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Who
...roundings, especially from our friends. who have more data has a chance to gain mor...
^^^
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “who” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...roundings, especially from our friends. who have more data has a chance to gain mor...
^^^
Line 3, column 434, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...iends who interest in different fields. my friends once helped me a lot. when I wa...
^^
Line 3, column 467, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ields. my friends once helped me a lot. when I was a senior in high school, I went t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 528, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: My
...n high school, I went to a small party. my friend told me about essay competition ...
^^
Line 3, column 676, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...on because I was interested in writing. that time, I need a lot of research about Ja...
^^^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: My
... decided to work with them as a leader. my communication skill that comes from mak...
^^
Line 5, column 878, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...was felt me like new making friendship. when result appeared, our project cannot fun...
^^^^
Line 7, column 74, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'characteristics'' or 'characteristic's'?
Suggestion: characteristics'; characteristic's
...up and a new society is becoming worthy characteristics day by day. making new friends helps yo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Making
...ming worthy characteristics day by day. making new friends helps you to face new chall...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, briefly, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 502.0 407.700716846 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81274900398 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73821139107 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486055776892 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.0 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.490528941 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.9230769231 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3076923077 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 23.0 11.8709677419 194% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253827129136 0.236089414692 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0701726354826 0.076458572812 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070709962967 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176461331491 0.150856017488 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0521808125469 0.0645574589148 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.