Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Older teenager (16-19) should be allowed to work at paid part-time job?

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Older teenager (16-19) should be allowed to work at paid part-time job?

There are some moot points about older teenager part time job. The question of whether older teenagers should be allowed to work in a part-time job has aroused as a subject of controversy among the authorities. Everyone has their own zeitgeist. When it comes to my position I strongly subscribe to the viewpoint that older teenager should not be permitted to work in a part-time job. I have some reasons two of which will be explicated hereunder.
The first reason worth discussing here is that older teenagers who are between 16-19 years old, should be prepared for entrance to a university. Nowadays due to myriad candidates who want to study in university, it is very difficult to get admission from top-ranked universities consequently, students in high school should study very hard and get the best grades in their courses, the more GPA( great point average) to get, The more chance to admit thus part-time jobs give rise to distraction in students from their main goal. As a case in point, I vividly remember, when I was a high school student, I decided to take a part-time job. We had some counselors in my school who advised students to choose the best way for future. One of this consultants advised me to avoid part-time job and suggested taking an additional mathematics class because he understood I was weak in mathematics. I heard his advice and took an additional course, the corollary of this action was I could get the best grade in my mathematics exam. My own experience competently corroborates this idea that part-time job leads distraction in older teenager and avert these students from their momentous goal.
By the same token, another paramount reason to be mentioned is that teenagers have not fixed horizon therefore, it is better for these kinds of students to ban from somethings which change their horizon about the future. To be more specific a part-time job like a shopkeeper can change the idiosyncrasy of a teenager who decides to be an engineer before. Consequently, teenagers should avoid actions which probably alter their aims. My personal example demonstrates this reality, My cousin is a senior student in high school. Last summer he took a part-time job in the computer center, before that job he decided to choose agriculture field od study in the university but part-time job averts his horizon and changes his mind, therefore, he abandoned school and joint to the computer market. My personal example shed some light in the point that a part-time job maybe leads to change teenagers horizon which in some cases are very detrimental for their future.
In the nutshell, according to the aforementioned reasons, older teenagers should be prescribed from part-time jobs. These kinds of jobs not only distract students from their lessons but also alter their main horizon. Parents and teachers should provide a base for these kinds of teenagers to fixed their purpose.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 49, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...e some moot points about older teenager part time job. The question of whether older teen...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: Whether; The question whether
...nts about older teenager part time job. The question of whether older teenagers should be allowed to wo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 246, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ties. Everyone has their own zeitgeist. When it comes to my position I strongly subs...
^^^^
Line 2, column 735, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
... choose the best way for future. One of this consultants advised me to avoid part-ti...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, if, may, so, therefore, thus, in some cases, by the same token

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2425.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 486.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98971193416 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78615487332 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469135802469 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 761.4 618.680645161 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.335380142 48.9658058833 154% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.476190476 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1428571429 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47619047619 5.45110844103 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.283614611608 0.236089414692 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110661137811 0.076458572812 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0972911972695 0.0737576698707 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.216129851934 0.150856017488 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0869984120449 0.0645574589148 135% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.