Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Our childhood is a very important part of our lives. It is the time that we start discovering the world, instigating our imagination and playing with all sort of thing that we find. Some people would believe that television advertising directed towards children aged from two to five should be allowed; other would disagree. In my view these type of merchandising should be prohibited for two important reasons.
The main reason is that young children are very vulnerable. Children from two to five years old are not able to know if an information is dangerous or not. In that age they are only concerned about colorful things to play and everything could became a suitable toy. For example, I remember a history that my mother also told me. When I was a four years old, there was a television advertising about a new candy directed to children. The problem with this was that the container was very similar to medicines' packages. They were a small white cylinder and even the cap was the same used in medicines. The result of that is that a lot of children were eating their parents' medicines thinking that they were sweet candy. The result of that was the death of almost one hundred children on the entire country and the prohibition of food advertising to children. This event clearly demonstrated that this kind of advertising should not be allowed.
Another reason is that parents need to be aware of the television's content. Television advertising directed to young children could be from a large range of products, from toys to food. In that way, parents were not able to predict what a television channel will show to their children. For instance, last week, I was watching the Cartoon Network channel with my young cousin Peter. He was born with diabetes and he cannot eat any amount of sugar. During the merchandising time there were a lot of advertising about soft drinks and chocolate. So, I called my uncle and showed to him. For my surprise, he was not aware of these type of advertisement, he thought that the content of the channel were only about the cartoon that my cousin loves. He explained that this happen also one time with YouTube, Peter was watching cartoons and an advertising about sweet food was presented to him and he cried for an entire week. This experience taught me that television advertising should be prohibited because it can be dangerous to children.
In sum, though some may believe that there are no problems with television advertising directed towards would children, I believe that it should not be allowed. Not only children aged two to five are vulnerable but also parents might be aware of what is being presented to their children. Every place should work to decrease the amount of television advertising directed to children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'become'
Suggestion: become
...ful things to play and everything could became a suitable toy. For example, I remember...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, for example, for instance, kind of, sort of, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 15.1003584229 258% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2308.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 477.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83857442348 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67702161309 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440251572327 0.524837075471 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 719.1 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.3653344332 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.4814814815 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6666666667 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.92592592593 5.45110844103 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.88709677419 225% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.287138352201 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0890415121472 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0826264231698 0.0737576698707 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220326422869 0.150856017488 146% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728617350084 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.9 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.