Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, with the advent of the information age, numbers of famous people called celebrities increase. one reason is social groups and channels. Celebrities are usually seen for a huge number of the people, and their opinion has influence on the community. As I believe, they have more impact on young people than old while some other persons declare it cannot be said which one is influenced by famous people. In what follows, I will substantiate my viewpoint and explain my reasons.
Firstly, celebrities are importent to youth than adults because young persons want to be up to date, and imitate from famous people. However, the adults are not more interested in fashion mode. For example, I am a 28-year old person in Iran. I usually want to wear more distinctive clothes than others in the street. So, I always want to purchase jeens like Arash who is singer because girls like his clothing type. I also put a cap like him because it's very expensive and luxury. If he put on pants, I will probably buy pants and wear them. Therefore, thecelebrities' type of clothing can affect more on young people than adults.
Secondly, famous people oerspective could affect more on teenagers than old people because teenagers use a few applications such as instagram, twetter, facebook, and so forth. When a famous person uploads his photo on his timeline, his followers see his luxury life, and want to mimic from him. For instance, my cousin is one of Cristiano Ronaldo, and he goes to by an expensive car when Cristiano put an image on his instagram acount. On the other hand, my uncle has not any social account. Most of the new celebriries are not familiar for him, and a few of them that he knows them are very older celebrities that they have not any activity in the society. Thus, not only technology leads to transfer information from one sode of world to another side, but it also causes to convey opinion from person to person.
To conclude, famous people have more impact on young people than adults. Fashion mode and technology have fundumental role in this circumstances.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 105, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...ous people called celebrities increase. one reason is social groups and channels. C...
^^^
Line 2, column 589, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...re, thecelebrities type of clothing can affect more on young people than adults. Secondly,...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 43, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...condly, famous people oerspective could affect more on teenagers than old people because te...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 773, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'conveying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: conveying
...rld to another side, but it also causes to convey opinion from person to person. To conc...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 126, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...and technology have fundumental role in this circumstances.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 52.1666666667 88% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1725.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 359.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80501392758 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62357690556 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.534818941504 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 555.3 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6041115843 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.1428571429 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0952380952 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.61904761905 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170609269918 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498826432249 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0520864654376 0.0737576698707 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113176688784 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.026128014741 0.0645574589148 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.8 11.7677419355 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.32 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.