A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

Essay topics:

A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child’s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

There are many things that can contribute with the development of children. People are not concurred upon this topic, and each person's opinion will rely on many factors such as social, cultural, and even economical backgrounds. As far as I'm concern, a computer is the best gift for a child because it provides more than one activity that a child can do. In order to support my point, I will develop some arguments in the next paragraphs.

In the first place, with a computer a child can plays educational games over the internet while he or she is learning. Without any question, heretofore, there is not innovation as the computer. With this amazing machine there are piles of activities that one can do. Therefore, it can be used to read online books that are available for free, or to play educational games that help with the brain development of the child. To illustrate that, let's refer to my nephew Michael, he is only 6 years old and at his age, he surpasses the intelligence of a child older. Due to the fact that my nephew has been using his computer since the age of 4 and playing in educational websites that besides teaching the child also improves their memory. I'm sure that if Michael continues in this way he will be a genius in the future.

Another important aspect that should be reflected in this explanation is that with a computer children can make their homework. As we should know, today, there is not necessity of visiting the public library because they are available online. Therefore, this fact is beneficial for everyone; but children are the most important because they can use this astonishing tool from their own houses without step outside. For instance, my little sister who has a laptop that my mother gave her for her birthday is the best example of that. Actually, she is in 6th grade and she receives her homework assignments by email, and even researches everything online. This is great because she saves time and she does not rely on me to help her.

Finally, with a computer children can learn the basic usage and teach their parents. There are adults people who didn't have the chance to learn how to use computers when they were children, thus if their children learn, parents might take this opportunity to learn from their children as well. This fact, not only will be fun, but also it will contribute with the children development.

To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I consider that a computer is the best gift for children because they can play and learn at the same time. Also they can make their homework from their houses, and teach parents as well.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Comments

a child can plays educational games
a child can play educational games

there is not innovation as the computer
there are no innovation as the computer

there is not necessity of visiting the public library
there is no necessity of visiting the public library

but children are the most important
but children are most important
but children are the most important ones

without step outside.
without stepping outside.

she is in 6th grade
she is in the 6th grade

not only will be fun, but also it will contribute with the children development.
not only will it be fun, but also it will contribute with the children development.

Sentence: As far as I'm concern, a computer is the best gift for a child because it provides more than one activity that a child can do.
Description: A verb 'to be', present tense, 1st person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to am and concern

Sentence: This fact, not only will be fun, but also it will contribute with the children development.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and development

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2

No. of Words: 463 350 //Don't need a long story for examples. one sentence could be enough.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 463 350
No. of Characters: 2096 1500
No. of Different Words: 221 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.639 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.527 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.427 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.045 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.839 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5