giving money to school-aged children as a prize of their good grades
Giving prize to a child when they get a good grade motivates them to study. However, I think money is not an appropriate prize for a school-aged child. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, a school-aged child may not know how to spend his or her money efficiently. He or she may use their money to buy things that they don’t really need. Therefore, they can’t learn to manage their money. For example, whenever my cousin gets a good mark, her parents give money to her. But she never tries to invest this money. She always use her prize to buy cloths which she doesn’t really need.
Secondly, giving money to childeren for their good performance in school might lead them to think that the aim of studying is the money. To be more specific, they won’t study to be successful in future and . In long term, this cause a weak performance of the children in their class. As an example, when my cousin was younger, she wanted to be a doctor and she studied carefully. After a while she started to believe that studying won’t help her in the future. If her parents punish her for her weak performance at school, she says that If you give me more money as a prize, I will get a better mark on the next exam.
In conclusion, giving money as a prize to encourage school-aged students is not suitable. This is because of the fact that children are not able to spend thie money efectively. In addition, they will lose the true goal of their education.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 274, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...le, whenever my cousin gets a good mark, her parents give money to her. But she ...
^^
Line 3, column 292, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usin gets a good mark, her parents give money to her. But she never tries to inv...
^^
Line 3, column 361, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'She' must be used with a third-person verb: 'uses'.
Suggestion: uses
... tries to invest this money. She always use her prize to buy cloths which she doesn...
^^^
Line 5, column 211, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...s;t study to be successful in future and . In long term, this cause a weak perform...
^^
Line 5, column 493, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her in the future. If her parents punish her for her weak performance at school, ...
^^
Line 7, column 99, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...-aged students is not suitable. This is because of the fact that children are not able to spend thie mon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, for example, i feel, i think, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1254.0 1977.66487455 63% => OK
No of words: 277.0 407.700716846 68% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.52707581227 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.07962216107 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53824328037 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 142.0 212.727598566 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.512635379061 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 378.9 618.680645161 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.7816687676 48.9658058833 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 69.6666666667 100.406767564 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.3888888889 20.6045352989 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.22222222222 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.402501440843 0.236089414692 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.131150734527 0.076458572812 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110828795509 0.0737576698707 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.279054302288 0.150856017488 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546026810669 0.0645574589148 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.6 11.7677419355 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.7 10.9000537634 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.77 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 42.0 86.8835125448 48% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.