A high school that normally gives students about two months of time off from school during the summer is introducing a new educational requirement for students in eleventh grade (ages 16-17) over the summer; students have the following two options to fulfill the new requirement.
a. They can attend classes each day for several weeks to complete a university level course on a subject that they are considering selecting as their major field of study at university.
b. They can spend several weeks traveling to museums and historic places in their area with a group of students guided by a teacher and then write a paper of their experience.
Which one of these options do you think would be most beneficial for students and why?
It goes without saying that in today’s academic environemnt, schools require students to take different courses in order to graduate. If a high school wants to offer a new summer course requirement, I believe that spending several weeks traveling to different museums and historic areas to write a paper of their experience is much more advantageous for teenage students rather than attending regular classes in summer time to pass a course related to their future major. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, visiting different historical places like museums, these young students would be able to gain some hands-on experience, thereby making it easier for them to recall what they have learned during the trips to write their assignment. To be more specific, by spending time on traveling to museums, they would be provided with various interesting experiences. For instance, learning about different cultures, conventions, and traditional aspects of past generations will help them to burden their horizon and see things differently. Therefore, when visiting and learning these pieces of invaluable information, they can form a vivid picture in their mind, aiding them in remembering their acquired knowledge during the trips easily and accurately. It is crystal clear that under such circumstances, these adolescents will be able to obtain higher scores for their detailed papers, which is much more helpful for them when they want to get addmission from universities in the future if they have a higher overall GPA.
Furthermore, going on trips to different places helps students to gain peace of mind and a sense of relaxation, thereby improving their productivity when they return to their regular classes starting the next semester. To put this into a more vivid picture, summer time is a period in which students want to get rid of all the pressure they had to tolerate during school time. It is safe to say thay if a university wants to force them to attend classes just like they do in other seasons, they feel overwhelmed, and this extra tension will lower their productivity in the long run. However, traveling would be an opportunity to soothe their minds and release their cumulative stress, causing them to be refreshed and enthusiastic for starting the next semester.
As shown above, considering all the reasons and points mentioned above, one could conclude that it is much more beneficial for teenage students to experience taveling to museums and historic places and write a paper based on their experience. It is because they can write their paper in detail by being able to recall memories more vividly if they have visited somewhere in person, and because it will refresh their mind and cause them to be more productive starting the new semester.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 418, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[2]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
...ather than attending regular classes in summer time to pass a course related to their futur...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 259, Rule ID: SUMMER_TIME[2]
Message: Use simply 'summer'.
Suggestion: summer
... To put this into a more vivid picture, summer time is a period in which students want to g...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, however, if, so, therefore, thus, as to, for instance, i feel, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2397.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 464.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16594827586 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77039513058 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 738.0 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 20.1344086022 164% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 62.6644774549 48.9658058833 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 171.214285714 100.406767564 171% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.1428571429 20.6045352989 161% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35714285714 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15894241902 0.236089414692 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0674873662435 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0586728527266 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117397411325 0.150856017488 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.072691523436 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.5 11.7677419355 166% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.98 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.2 10.1575268817 159% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 10.0537634409 151% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.