A high school that normally gives students about two months of time off from school during the summer is introducing a new educational requirement for students in eleventh grade (ages 16-17) over the summer; students have the following two options to fulfill the new requirement.
- They can attend classes each day for several weeks to complete a university-level course on a subject that they are considering selecting as their major field of study at university.
- They can spend several weeks traveling to museums and historic places in their area with a group of students guided by a teacher and then write a paper of their experience.
Which one of these options do you think would be most beneficial for students and why?
Nowadays, schools have different methods in order to train their students and enhance their knowledge. Although some people believe that attending many classes will provide a chance for students to improve their information, personally, I strongly believe that some practical activities, such as visiting museums, have more benefits for them. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, visiting historical places will pave the way for students to be familiar with different cultures. To be more specific, traveling to historical places enhance students' knowledge, this is because it paves the way for them to be aware of different people who live in the past and learn about their cultures and believes. Most of the museums have experts guide tours which have a lot of information about people who live in the past, and they share this useful information with us. My own experience is a compelling example of what I mean. Last year, during my summer break my school had a historical tour in some historical places. During a tour, we visited a lot of ancient places and some museums. The museum had such an up to dated technology. It had many digital desktops on walls that continually played some movies related to ancient people. Moreover, it had different rooms that had smart navigators and whenever some visitors entered the rooms it started to play and explain different ancient stuff such as pots and old guns in the room. That tour completely changed my opinion about people who lived in the past and understood that they were such talented people.
Moreover, traveling with other students that are of the same age will improve students’ social skills. To be more specific, if students are supposed to visit some places and after that wire a report about their travel, it will provide a chance for them to communicate with each other about their duties and share some activities. Therefore, they should manage some different tasks to have a comprehensive report. For instance, as I mentioned in the example in the past paragraph two of my friends and I supposed to write a report about our trip. Therefore, before our trip, we had many meetings and managed some activities; hence, I had to have an interview with a person who was a guide of the museum, while other students were visiting different parts of the museum. He was such a nice and expert person and not only sated me a lot of useful information, but he introduces two books related to the period of ancient times that I was interested in.
In conclusion, according to all the reasons and examples, I believe that having some practical activities have more benefits for students. This is because not only do they improve students' information, but they enhance students' social skills.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, moreover, so, therefore, while, for instance, i feel, i mean, i suppose, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2338.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91176470588 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63251640931 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.449579831933 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.9 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1750037882 48.9658058833 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.333333333 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6666666667 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193356173686 0.236089414692 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632380529262 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462856303094 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138834201157 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0299051418064 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.