If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

If you could change one important thing about your country, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

I think the most important problem in my country is lack of education. People in Mexico are not educated and they are not interested in that.

Educational system in Mexico is really bad. Teachers have to attend 40 or sometimes 50 students at the same time, they received a very por salary, therefore most of them does not do their job in a good manner. Moreover the method is obsolete. It only makes the students to learn things by memory without thinking, without motivation, without feeling interest in what they are receiving . Besides, there is a new policy in which teachers can not “failed” students in elementary school, in order to do not damage their self esteem, for this reason teachers only pass kids without caring if they learned or not.

On the other hand, we have mexicans in general who do not care about their own education. Mexicans are lazy and mediocre. They do not want to know about their history, politics, social things. Mexicans do not care about learn to write and speak in an appropiate way their own language, even less another like english. Educational system is trash but the students are too.

Finally there is another problem with home education. Parents are more concerned in working than provide education to their childern. Mexican kids get education from national tv that is a completely shit.

As a result of that problems, Mexico is running in an awful way. Streets are dirty all the time, people do not respect rules, there are many corruption that affects everyone, citizens sale their vote for 100 pesos or even just for a “torta”. Everyone just live without do anything for a better country, they are only looking how to fool and swindle others.

Mexico is a really great country, we have culture, history, natural resources and many things for being a great country, we only need to change our mentality. That is the key that has taken another countries to be develompent ones.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

most of them does not do their job in a good manner
most of them do not do their job in a good manner

in order to do not damage their self esteem
in order not to damage their self esteem

Sentence: Mexicans do not care about learn to write and speak in an appropiate way their own language, even less another like english.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to way and their

Sentence: Educational system is trash but the students are too.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

Everyone just live without do anything
Everyone just lives without doing anything

has taken another countries
has taken other countries

Sentence: Teachers have to attend 40 or sometimes 50 students at the same time, they received a very por salary, therefore most of them does not do their job in a good manner.
Error: por Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Mexicans do not care about learn to write and speak in an appropiate way their own language, even less another like english.
Error: appropiate Suggestion: appropriate

Sentence: Parents are more concerned in working than provide education to their childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children

Sentence: Mexican kids get education from national tv that is a completely shit.
Error: tv Suggestion: me

Sentence: Streets are dirty all the time, people do not respect rules, there are many corruption that affects everyone, citizens sale their vote for 100 pesos or even just for a torta.
Error: torta Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: That is the key that has taken another countries to be develompent ones.
Error: develompent Suggestion: development

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
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Need conjunctions for two sentences. for example:
sentence A, and sentence B
sentence A, but sentence B
sentence A, or sentence B

it is wrong to put two or more sentences like this:
sentence A, sentence B, sentence C, sentence D...

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better to have 4-5 paragraphs:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion

or:

para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1540 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.639 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.339 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.308 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.27 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5