If you could make one important change in the educational system of your country, what change would you make?
The education system is of paramount importance in any country, since it can significantly contribute to nurturing influential persons serving substantial benefits to their countries. Were I in charge of such a critical system in my country, the first change I would make would be revising its current curriculums due to removing obsolete courses and adding state-of-the-art courses.
In my country, a large percentage of courses during the education period, in particular during the university period, are either outdated or irrelevant to the students’ majors. For instance, a mathematic student has to pass virtually 24 credits out of 140 credits in general courses such as literature, theology, and so forth, which have nothing to do with his or her field of study and are forgotten easily. With this in mind, I would swiftly delegate the responsibility of identifying both abolished and irrelevant courses in any major to a committee, including experienced scholars, and then I would eliminate them. By doing so, the number of courses required in majors would diminish, and students would have more free time. This created free time would use in two ways. The first one is that students would be graduated and pushed toward the labor market sooner than could they before implementing the change. The second and more important one is that students would have time to concentrate on their main courses, with the result that they would learn the vital courses in a profound and in-depth fashion by reading distinguishing specialized textbooks or conducting complex projects close to reality.
With the passage of time, the world in which we live has significantly changed as a result of the astounding rate at which technologies have improved and developed. Therefore, there are a number of novel practical fields in any major which are required by employers on the job market. Hence, adding appropriate state-of-the-art or practical courses corresponding to this situation by a committee of scholars having a close relationship with industries is a reasonable action so that knowledgeable, competent graduates would be brought up. Otherwise, graduates would need more both time and training to impeccably fulfill their duties in their jobs, which squanders the precious time and resources of companies. In other words, up-to-date graduates can lead to increasing the productivity of companies. To illuminate my purpose, I provide a tangible example with regard to a useful course that can be added to most of the majors. The usage of computers in any major, specifically in engineering fields, is inevitable in the present-day world. Practically, any main software of any major can be joined to the C programming language. Accordingly, if students learn this programming language, they can work with a number of different pieces of software rapidly by learning only one programming language rather than fundamentally different ones. As a result, graduates would convert into multi-skilled employees, and then the cost of hiring as well as training of companies would decrease
.
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, I do believe that the education system can bring up qualified graduates and increase the productivity of companies by revising the curriculum of majors. For this reason, if I could make one fundamental change, I would reform ongoing curriculums.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1485, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...as training of companies would decrease . In conclusion, with all this taken in...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, hence, if, second, so, then, therefore, well, as to, for instance, in conclusion, in general, in particular, of course, such as, as a result, as well as, in other words, with regard to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 9.8082437276 245% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 88.0 52.1666666667 169% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2854.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 534.0 407.700716846 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34456928839 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12963290957 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 274.0 212.727598566 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513108614232 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 882.9 618.680645161 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 9.0 3.08781362007 291% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.94265232975 243% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.3354943801 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.904761905 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4285714286 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.95238095238 5.45110844103 183% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15608973921 0.236089414692 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0487714629143 0.076458572812 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.053134426104 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124544625636 0.150856017488 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0559724651304 0.0645574589148 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 10.9000537634 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.31 8.01818996416 116% => OK
difficult_words: 150.0 86.8835125448 173% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.