If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
In the modern 21st century it is crucial for students to have access to the latest research and topical information. Unfortunately, when I was at school I did not have such access, and, as I know, there is still no internet connection in my school. That is why I believe that providing internet to school is a major change that I would recommend. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, the learning process could be dramatically facilitated if pupils have access to the internet. Just compare time to go to the library and try to find needed information in paper books and articles with time to make just Google request. I think that kids can save hours or maybe weeks and dedicate this time to investigate the subject deeper. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. When I was at high school I was assigned a complex task about quantum mechanics. There were not enough books in my school library, and I decided to go to the city library. I remember that I spent three weekends in a row to prepare my report. I definitely think that with access to the internet this task could be completed just in a few days.
Secondly, internet connection allows students to communicate with people around the world. Moreover, it gives them the possibility to be a part of the international teams. My school has a very strong background in mathematics, but not so many pupils have won country and international olympiads. I am sure that If they have access to the best teachers and other students to discuss some tricky questions and tasks, the won rate will substantially increase.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that access to the internet will be the best thing that I could do for my school. This is because it allows students to save time, and to boost communication among students.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e is a compelling illustration of this. When I was at high school I was assigned a c...
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Suggestion:
... could be completed just in a few days. Secondly, internet connection allows stu...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e won rate will substantially increase. In conclusion, I strongly believe that a...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, i feel, i think, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 43.0788530466 97% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1538.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 326.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.71779141104 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82413236015 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533742331288 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 477.9 618.680645161 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 24.9443825785 48.9658058833 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.4444444444 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1111111111 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44444444444 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0692792295935 0.236089414692 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0225275287233 0.076458572812 29% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0332781599139 0.0737576698707 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0436681572524 0.150856017488 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0227719581931 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 11.7677419355 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.8 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.