Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why?
- An organization that provides food and housing to people in need
- An organization that gives people money to start their own small business
- An organization that provides medical care to people in need.
Human beings are responsible for each other because they live in a same community. Therefore, each part of the society affects others’ success and prosperity; actually, we should be pay attention to people especially impoverished ones who can not afford their needs. To this aim, there are several beneficial attitudes. Some people believe that giving money to an organization to buy food and basic materials for poor people, is the best way for supporting while others have different opinions. Personally, if I want to give monetary support to charity, I prefer to help talent youth who do not have enough money to start their business. In other words, helping people to bring their ideas up is a better choice. To substantiate, there are two reasons which are discussed in the following paragraphs.
First and foremost, supporting people to afford their needs by their own is more valuable because it is permanent. Who can support the necessary amount of food for all destitute people around the world? The answer is clear, nobody. Actually, it is impossible to completely solve the problem for all people who are in need. Therefore, I prefer to help penniless people to solve their problems without getting everyday help from others. To this aim, due to the fact that all humans are naturally talented and have several skills, surely they can achieve money if they have required basics at first stage. By giving handling the start requirement, I can help them not only be needless from others, but also, I can support them to illustrate their talent to all humans. Although giving money to buy food for people who are striving is highly worthy, the approach may create unpredictable consequences that are dangerous for shaping their characteristics. For example, some years ago, I gifted race, chicken, vegetable and some other foods to poor peoples on a small village at Mahallat that named Nimvar. Although they were really excited and appreciated it on that time, they expected similar work each year, and when we could not do same, they started to show aggressive behaviors. In other words, such support makes expectation in people that is harmful because they will not endeavor and just wait to someone help them.
Another worthwhile factor in this type of the charity is that establishing a new business also can help many other peoples to gain money. The business needs workers; so, myriad skillful job seekers, who do not have a job yet, can join the organization. Hence, not only this type of charity is fruitful for one person to establish his/her own business, but also it provides an environment to solve the lack of enough jobs issue. For example, in my country, there are numerous intelligent youth who need a small required money to establish their start-app. One of them is Ali Jomei who has created Snap company which gives services related to getting online taxi using a smart-phone. He started this successful start-up when got money from charity. Thanks to a kind person who supported Ali, currently, we have the service in my city that improves the level of society’s satisfaction.
To sum up, I prefer to pay money to support talented individuals to start their own company. The way can help destitute people to be more independence and teach them to obtain money with effort. Additionally, it is lucrative for all member of the community because the business needs several employees. Hence, more job positions will be available for unemployed ones.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1382, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'someone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'helps'.
Suggestion: helps
...l not endeavor and just wait to someone help them Another worthwhile factor in t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1391, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eavor and just wait to someone help them Another worthwhile factor in this type o...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 861, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...roves the level of societys satisfaction To sum up I prefer to pay money to suppo...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, may, really, so, therefore, while, for example, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 15.1003584229 172% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2828.0 1977.66487455 143% => OK
No of words: 581.0 407.700716846 143% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86746987952 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90957651803 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56507289303 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462994836489 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 912.6 618.680645161 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 9.59856630824 0% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 1.0 20.6003584229 5% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 581.0 20.1344086022 2886% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 0.0 48.9658058833 0% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 2828.0 100.406767564 2817% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 581.0 20.6045352989 2820% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 112.0 5.45110844103 2055% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 11.8709677419 8% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219275929419 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.219275929419 0.076458572812 287% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156174203763 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0342268031575 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 292.0 11.7677419355 2481% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -518.24 58.1214874552 -892% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 0.0 6.10430107527 0% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 229.9 10.1575268817 2263% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 12.45 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 35.72 8.01818996416 445% => Dale chall readability score is high.
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 61.0 10.002688172 610% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 234.4 10.0537634409 2331% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 61.0 10.247311828 595% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.