The most important thing the government should do to improve health care is to clean the environment.
A growing number of people have worried about their own health because of various diseases caused by polluted environment. Most of people hold that cleaning the environment to boost citizens’ health care is the most significant thing the government should do. However, from my perspective, I do not agree with the statement.
Admittedly, it is actually substantial for government to enhance health care by protecting the environment. This is because the environment has been fueled due to an increasing number of fume resulted from cars and industries, which lead to a variety of diseases to human bodies. Once the environment like the air becomes cleaner without dust by means of planting trees to absorb carbon dioxide, it will have fresher oxygen for people to breath, which can accelerate body’s blood circulation and promote immune competence as well as diminish the probability of generation of lung diseases. Therefore, cleaning the environment is wholesome to human’s health care.
However, compared with cleaning the environment, advanced medical facilities are more of importance to improve health care for government. To be more specific, medical facilities have the ability to speedily find out, exactly analyze the cause of some diseases and cure them directly. And cleaning the environment is a process of long period in a slow speed as well as unremarkable effect on human’s health care. Take my grandfather for example, he suffered from the lung cancer and went to hospital when I was a child. Luckily, he is detected the part and size of the lung cancer by utilizing medical facilities like X-ray, which can help surgeon to treat it quickly, so he was in hospital for two years and successfully overcame the lung cancer. As for protecting the environment, it has no impact on the cure of lung cancer in a short period.
Moreover, raising public awareness on caring about health care is more crucial for government than cleaning the environment. To be more concrete, protecting the environment is a kind of extrinsic behavior, however, it is the awareness that motivate people to take care of their own health in that it is an intrinsic behavior. If people are aware of the importance of health care, they will do anything to maintain or prompt their health in their subconscious such as going jogging in the morning and sticking to a low-fat diet. By contrast, if people do not have the awareness, they will continue to eat many high-calorie foods like ice-creams or hamburgers and stay up late to harm their health, even if clean the environment.
To sum up, although cleaning the environment is of significance for government to enhance health care, advanced medical facilities and boosting public awareness are also indispensable for government, so I disagree with the statement.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 124, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ('Most of the people') or simply say ''Most people''.
Suggestion: Most of the people; Most people
...iseases caused by polluted environment. Most of people hold that cleaning the environment to b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for government to enhance health care by protecting the environment. This is beca...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, well, as for, for example, kind of, such as, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 43.0788530466 60% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 8.0752688172 359% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2362.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 458.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15720524017 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96160025433 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 212.727598566 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484716157205 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 738.9 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.5343174353 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.222222222 100.406767564 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4444444444 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.382095815474 0.236089414692 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136472977179 0.076458572812 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.145194775891 0.0737576698707 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.224969018647 0.150856017488 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0930174926976 0.0645574589148 144% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.