People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

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People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

Although people today should spend much time doing things they should do, but in opposite they spend too much time on their personal enjoyment and doing things they like to do because, first, most people do not choose their essential affairs based on their interest, and second, the condition of our today world has changed.

To begin with, choosing the job based on the interest, the most important thing for spending too much time on things that a person should do, like the work life, is choosing them based on the person's interest. For example, when I was student, I chose my major in a way to have more options to find a job in the future; I really did not like my major and I could not to get along with it. So, when I found a job, actually I had so many career that I had to do, but instead I spent too much time on things that did not relate to my work. But in contrast with my career life, I am really successful in my art life. The painting that I do it as a hobby, in one aspect, is not the essential thing that I should spend too much time on it; it is a kind of personal work that I love to do.

Also, the condition of our today world has changed. We are dealing with an industrial world and the relationship among people, does not obey from the tradition rules that fifty years ago existed. For example, when I was a child, all the family gathered in my grandparent's house on the weekends. Everybody was happy. In during of the week my parents worked and spent their time on the essential duties that they had to do, in the hope that they had the weekend to have fun and pleasure with somebody they love. But today, the situation has changed. The distances between people in a family have increased and people prefer to have their privacy. So, for running away from mental diseases like depressions, people spend too much time on their personal enjoyments.

To put the issues into a nutshell, people spend their time on things that they love since everybody love himself at the first level of importance, so, the human being prefer to spend too much time on the personal stuff, some affairs that he or she really loves to do, more than some things that he obligates to do.

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when I was student
when I was a student

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 169 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 410 350
No. of Characters: 1729 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.5 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.217 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.197 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 21 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.636 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5