playing outside with friends and using simple toys would be better for children's development
The importance and big scale of using technological tools are not covered to anyone, and all the people can see how they have affected the daily of specially youngsters. Using advanced tools with high technology help children learn different things very fast and find friends from all parts of the world. On the other hand, playing outside and using simple tools can have their own advantages which one of them is finding a chance for living in real world and meeting people who children can rely on them. In my view, children by growing up in this situation, can have better development, and I will elaborate on my opinion with the following reasons.
First and foremost, children by playing outside can find more friends in real life and expand their connections which help them to grow better. Using computers or smartphones enables children to make lots of friends from all around the world that may never find a chance to really meet them. On the other hand, children by playing outside can see different personalities and know people better. The importance of this point is more clear when people pay attention to this point that in social media individuals try to show off and do not show their real personality. Moreover, children by finding new friends who are living around them, can improve their connection which helps to to success in the future. My own life experience is a compelling example of this point. When I was a kid, I used to play outside, and as a result, I could learn how to know people and make new friends. Later, these friends helped me to establish my own business and led to my success in my career. This personal life experience made to find a strong belief on the necessity and importance of playing outside in the real world of all the children.
Second, playing simple toys result in appreciating all the little things children will have in their life. Using the most new brand tools which cut the edge make children to seek more developed tools in the future, and this is while playing by simple tools teach them even simple and cheap tools can bring joy in their lives. Moreover, playing video games which are full of luxury cars and items rub the chance of appreciating their parents for each common and simple article buy for them. For instance, My brother plays online games a lot. As a result of having lots of new brand cars in those games, he does not like the simple life we have. His behavior to our parents is rude, and in my eyes, his attitude toward life is due to all those games. The bottom line is that, children by having simple toys can see and pay attention to all little things life provides for them.
To sum up, the use of technological tools has its own advantages, but it will brings some disadvantages which may make advanced tools not a good source of developing and teaching children. By using simple toys and going out to play, they can meet new people and create a great connection with the people who can help the later. Beside that, they can find a chance to value all the things they have, no matter if they are simple or cheap. Based on these justifications, my conviction is that simple tools and playing outside will have better effect on the development of children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 679, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...an improve their connection which helps to to success in the future. My own life expe...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 846, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'things'' or 'thing's'?
Suggestion: things'; thing's
...can see and pay attention to all little things life provides for them. To sum up, t...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 79, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'bring'
Suggestion: bring
...ols has its own advantages, but it will brings some disadvantages which may make advan...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, moreover, really, second, so, while, for instance, as a result, in my view, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 9.8082437276 194% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 13.8261648746 195% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 84.0 52.1666666667 161% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2675.0 1977.66487455 135% => OK
No of words: 577.0 407.700716846 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.63604852686 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90110439584 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42083678234 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.419410745234 0.524837075471 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 795.6 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.3633360149 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.458333333 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0416666667 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.20833333333 5.45110844103 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300260223224 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102713206676 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0678025367636 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212333840557 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0210122026953 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.04 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.