Schools should use computers as a tool of education.
With the development of modern technology, for schools, using the computers to teach the children aged 4 to 7 whether or not benefits for children is still a puzzle among us. While some people think that schools should use computers as a tool of education for children aged 4 to 7, others disagree. Personally, I disagree this idea, I think that schools shouldn't use the computers as a tool of education for children aged 4 to 7.
To begin with, if teachers use the computers as a tool to teach the children, it would lose the connection between the teachers and children. Because teachers are difficult to notice every children's reaction such as concentration or distraction behind the computers, it hard to manage every child at the same pace. However, if teachers use the traditional way to teach children, teachers and children would interact with each other and may create more vividly atmosphere. For example, my sister, Jenny, is a kindergarten teacher, and she has experienced the change of traditional teaching to use the computers as a tool to educate children. Prior to using the computers as a tool of education, when my sister had classes, she was able to observe every child focus on the classes or not. In the class, there was the child named Jack, and my sister found that he always distracted from the classes. My sister elaborated this situation to his mother, thinking that Jack may have ADD. Turn out, Jack did have ADD problem. However, since kindergarten adopted the computers as a tool of education, my sister noticed that it is difficult to keep an eye on every children's circumstances. Because everyone stared at computers, it lost the interaction in the class. She started to think that she wouldn't notice Jack's situation if she used the computers for the education.
In addition, for children, it would lose the opportunity for them to communicate with other kids because they operate computers individually. It is not helpful for children's development, especially in the age between 4 to 7. Because, in this stage, it is fundamental for children to build up their characteristics such as how to respect and share with people. For example, in my country, our government published research about the elementary students' social skill and grade performance. According to this study, it evaluated that the students who operated the computers in the kindergarten are lack of the social skills than students didn't use computers in their kindergarten. The study indicates the same result on the grade performance. Because when children interact with others, it will stimulate their brain development. Furthermore, if children had the conflict with others, they should learn how to solve problems. Since this study published, my sister told me that her kindergarten stopped using the computer as a tool to educate children. Because numbers of the parents asked kindergarten to teach their children in the traditional way instead of using computers.
All in all, although some people may oppose my opinion due to technology development is inevitable, it is clear that using computers as a tool of education for children age 4 to 7 have some defects. Because teachers are difficult to notice every child circumstance and children will encounter their problems at communicating with people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...uters to teach the children aged 4 to 7 whether or not benefits for children is still a puzzle...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...isagree this idea, I think that schools shouldnt use the computers as a tool of educatio...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 978, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'added'.
Suggestion: Added
...his mother, thinking that Jack may have ADD. Turn out, Jack did have ADD problem. H...
^^^
Line 3, column 1007, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'added'.
Suggestion: Added
...k may have ADD. Turn out, Jack did have ADD problem. However, since kindergarten ad...
^^^
Line 3, column 1288, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...he class. She started to think that she wouldnt notice Jacks situation if she used the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 636, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...lack of the social skills than students didnt use computers in their kindergarten. Th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1050, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...computer as a tool to educate children. Because numbers of the parents asked kindergart...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, while, for example, i think, in addition, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 8.0752688172 272% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2771.0 1977.66487455 140% => OK
No of words: 545.0 407.700716846 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08440366972 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83169070408 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94969409052 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.434862385321 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 850.5 618.680645161 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 13.0 3.51792114695 370% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4743568924 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.576923077 100.406767564 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9615384615 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.07692307692 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 15.0 3.85842293907 389% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288899976465 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0927377780976 0.076458572812 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105253457678 0.0737576698707 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195366321839 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0831341728452 0.0645574589148 129% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.