Some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is undeniable that having high grades in the school is important for most of children. High grades give the children the satisfaction feeling about themselves. In addition to that, it gives an indecator to their academic level in the school. Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high mark they get in school. In my opinion it is a good idea.
First, I think giving money as a reward for high grad teaches children the value of the money, and how to be responsible about what they have. When children work hard for their grade and gain that money, they will keep this money and spend it carefully. For instance, my nine years old son wanted a new bicycle regardless the good one that he had. After I rewarded him for his grades, he did not want a bicycle anymore and he thinks about where to spend his money carefully.
Second, money as a reward gives a feeling for the children that they become older and we trust them. In fact, they will be happier than if we give them a candy or a game. Going back to my son example, when I gave him 10 dollars for each high grade, he spent almost two days celebrating that 10 dollars. Moreover he went to everyone on my family with a big smile and told them about his money. In addition to that, he started to think as a big brother with his younger sister, and he saved some of his money to buy her a gift.
To sum up, offering to give money for each high mark has many benefits for the kids. It is not only give them some joyness, but also it teaches them the responsibility. From my experience with my kids, I suggest to give the children a range for the high grade that we accept from them for the reward, so they will not be disappointed if they got one or two marks less than what they are expected.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 73, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the children') or simply say ''most children''.
Suggestion: most of the children; most children
...h grades in the school is important for most of children. High grades give the children the sati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...t two days celebrating that 10 dollars. Moreover he went to everyone on my family with ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing that 10 dollars. Moreover he went to everyone on my family with a big smile a...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, moreover, second, so, for instance, i think, in addition, in fact, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1436.0 1977.66487455 73% => OK
No of words: 336.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.27380952381 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.28477628323 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 212.727598566 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491071428571 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 442.8 618.680645161 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.7091124186 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.4705882353 100.406767564 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7647058824 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.64705882353 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.346954350385 0.236089414692 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137112455344 0.076458572812 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.135613875979 0.0737576698707 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.250175995613 0.150856017488 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.141113684452 0.0645574589148 219% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.6 11.7677419355 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 77.57 58.1214874552 133% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.49 10.9000537634 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.79 8.01818996416 85% => OK
difficult_words: 47.0 86.8835125448 54% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.