Some parents do not want their children to work part time while in school so that they can concentrate on their studies. Other parents believe their kids should learn to manage study and work duties as this teaches them certain skills they cannot learn at school and therefore better prepares them for the real world. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both views (and say which you think is greater).
In this complicated and advanced world, children's success is every parent's concern. Now, parents are divided into two types; the first group rather not to send their children to childhood work, and claim that their kids must be free to focus on their school rather than external disrupting duties, while others take the opposite perspective by stating that their children will be better skilled and ready for the future by managing school and work stuff simultaneously. I personally believe that, with keeping in mind both advantages and disadvantages of either group's belief, the second view is better when it’s qualified, which will be demonstrated in the following statement.
Children would better manage their time for their school life success, which is an important factor in future unsuccessfulness, if they just concentrate on their study. To put in simple, most of the children are not completely independent in their school-time, thus the more time they have the better they can handle the school by their own self. In contrast, there would be much pressure on them if they try to do working and school at the same time. More specifically, no need to say that children are not as powerful as adults, neither physically nor mentally. Therefore, by day-working and night-studying they will not be able to organize their time for well-doing at school. For example, I remember my brother who used to work at a factory. At first he did very well, but in meantime his performance lowered, and he not only did bad in his final exams but also got headaches and disease which made him to quit his part-time job.
That being said, however, students will become skillful by working practically. In other words, there are lots of children out there working in companies for several hours, light work and not heavy, and they face what is happening in the real world. As a matter of explanation, it is vital for everyone to know what exactly stands for all those theoretical stuff their teachers teach them; this will be just a dream for them if they do not practice it by their hands, see it through the eyes, taste the difficulty by arms, and finally analyze it by their brain. To clarify, consider a physics equation about cars which explains how car engine works. Everybody knows that it will not be put better in student’s brain if they do not exactly see a car working by that equation. To illustrate, when kids switch wheels of cars, fix some engineering problems in trains, and drive some vehicle, they not only earn money and manage their time but also learn practically and physically. On contrary, children will not be well-prepared for their future occupation which is every individual's life goal if they only stick in the theory of school. To simplify, every education is done in this world, tries its best to prepare people for convenient life which is not done until they have a source of revenue; part-time jobs beside the school makes students one step closer to their desired job in the future.
To sum up, by assuming merits and drawbacks of both viewpoint, just focusing on school brings much time for learning theory of the best future work, which is everyone’s desire, but it is better done by practicing those theories in workplace. Therefore, working and studying parallel is great when the amount of time the students spend on work is managed thoughtfully by parents in case to not put children under heavy pressure.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 563, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'groups'' or 'group's'?
Suggestion: groups'; group's
... advantages and disadvantages of either groups belief, the second view is better when ...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...monstrated in the following statement. Children would better manage their time ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ch made him to quit his part-time job. That being said, however, students will ...
^^
Line 3, column 1076, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... their future occupation which is every individuals life goal if they only stick in the the...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er to their desired job in the future. To sum up, by assuming merits and drawba...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, in contrast, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 78.0 52.1666666667 150% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2872.0 1977.66487455 145% => OK
No of words: 587.0 407.700716846 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8926746167 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9222030514 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69721677035 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 300.0 212.727598566 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511073253833 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 863.1 618.680645161 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.529171733 48.9658058833 164% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.6 100.406767564 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.35 20.6045352989 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.65 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.444476914472 0.236089414692 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.13897469026 0.076458572812 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0907099162152 0.0737576698707 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.273811505556 0.150856017488 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0645621640125 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 58.1214874552 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.3 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 86.8835125448 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.