Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Throughout history, education has played a prominent role in all societies. Hence, parents are always concerned about the education status of their children and therefore, they make every effort to guarantee a bright future for their children. In this regard, some people offer their school-age children money for every high grade they attain since they believe this reward can help school-age children to make more progress. However, other people may take the opposite viewpoint. In my opinion, the latter belief is true. In what follows, I will pinpoint some reasons to support my opinion.

The first point coming to my mind is that considering a reward for getting a high mark may cause to motivate students to try harder, but this reward can instill the belief that if they couldn't receive a high score, they would be the weak persons that are not able to follow their dreams. In fact, the scoring process and quantitative evaluation put pressure on the student that can cause to create irreparable damages, like losing their confidence. Hence, I strongly believe that parents should never contribute to increasing these pressures on their children by adding another benchmark.

Furthermore, it is essential for students to enjoy the learning process itself if they want to be useful and effective people for their society. Because it is proved that intrinsic motivations are much more effective and powerful than extrinsic ones since they are much more durable. In other words, continuous efforts usually lead to fundamental changes in the world and this is almost impossible if humans are accustomed to receiving extrinsic rewards from their childhood since finally one day these rewards will not exist.

Another important point to mention is that pushing the students to get high scores may cause students to enter a destructive competition that affects their social relationships. In addition, it may lead students to engage in immoral acts such as fraud. Hence, I strongly believe that parents should attempt to provide a peaceful and free stress place for their children rather than intensifying tensions among students.

From what has been discussed above, we can safely reach the conclusion that rewarding the students not only cannot assist students to improve their school works but also it can lead to affect their performance, negatively.

Votes
Average: 8.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 98, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'motivating'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: motivating
...eward for getting a high mark may cause to motivate students to try harder, but this reward...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 186, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...ard can instill the belief that if they couldnt receive a high score, they would be the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 389, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'creating'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: creating
... pressure on the student that can cause to create irreparable damages, like losing their ...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, still, therefore, in addition, in fact, such as, in my opinion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1997.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 378.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28306878307 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62203479906 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.558201058201 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 601.2 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.0123782392 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.8125 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.625 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.1875 5.45110844103 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.30368823836 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.086424288783 0.076458572812 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112443280661 0.0737576698707 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157909484957 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.1008310605 0.0645574589148 156% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 11.7677419355 130% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.64 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 81.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.