Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Recently, there has been a ton of debate on whether parents should give school -age children money as a prize for getting high grade at school. Personally, I am of the opinion that children should not receive money just for their academic performance. I feel this way because of two reasons, which I will explore in this essay.

First of all, it is not necessary for parents to offer children money because of high marks, and it might have negative effects. Obviously, parents have provided funds for their children’s education, including tuition fee, textbooks and other devices required. Offering children money for high grade may encourage them to cheat for high scores, as they can earn extra pocket money. This is best demonstrated by research conducted by Peking university, results of which shows that compared to children not receiving prize, those who get money are two to three times likely to cheat in their exams. As we can see, offering children a prize has negatively impact on them.

Secondly, receiving prize for academic performance also encourages children drawing an inappropriate conclusion that they should get paid for any achievement that they have made in their life. It is common sense that as a student children should take their responsibility which is to do their best at school, and as a member of the society they should also fulfill certain obligations without being paid, while offering children money for high marks recedes their motivation of taking responsibility. Again, according to the study mentioned above, the percentage of children who have the urge to make a donation among those received money is much lower than the other group. This is demonstrates that it is better not to offer children money for high grades.

In conclusion, I am fully convinced that children should not get money from parents for academic performance. This is because there is no need to pay children money and because it encourages children to form the wrong value.

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Independent TOEFL Writing

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, while, i feel, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 329.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06990881459 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69004344514 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.522796352584 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 510.3 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.3626307208 48.9658058833 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.142857143 100.406767564 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 20.6045352989 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.14285714286 5.45110844103 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356237857296 0.236089414692 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.145528837698 0.076458572812 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0771482917334 0.0737576698707 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.244557028727 0.150856017488 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0482722469692 0.0645574589148 75% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.99 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.