Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Giving motivation to children with the aim of improving their academic performance has plenty of instrumentalities. Some parents tend to let children have the spare time to do the thing they want, such as playing video games or watching television, while others prefer to give their children the money. In my opinion, affording children money may let them procure a bunch of benefits. In what follow I will elaborate on my perspective.

First and foremost, children can employ the money to purchase whatever they like, which will give them the momentum to work harder. For example, provided that parents offer children ten dollars whenever they secure the score above A, children can utilize it to buy the video games, which can relieve them This may also have the benefit for their study quality because according to some research people who are fully relaxed in their spare time may release some chemical substance which can connect the node in their brain, which in turn can make them concentrate more on their latter work. Therefore, providing children with money can not only make them feel delighted in their free time but also improve their studying efficiency.

In addition, after children garner the money, they can also learn about money management. They will contemplate how to exercise that money carefully, which leads them to allocate their money correctly in their future. For instance, after children acquire ten dollars, they may decide to buy the toys or store them in the blank , which could earn the interest. However, if they want to purchase the extremely expensive thing, they may know that accumulating the money is very significant. Therefore, they may learn that in order to possess the gorgeous thing they need to store their money and make some investment. This may be very helpful for their future because they may know that with a view to buying a house they ought to use their salary smartly. Hence, giving children money is a lesson about money management.

To sum up, offering children money if they get a great score may let them attain high efficiency of studying by virtue of fully relaxing in their spare time. Moreover, they may also have a grasp of money management, which may be useful for their future. It is evident that parents should provide children with money if they do gorgeous academic work.

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 327, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... buy the toys or store them in the blank , which could earn the interest. However,...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, in addition, such as, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 9.8082437276 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1955.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96192893401 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47181970326 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.494923857868 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 605.7 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.7227615464 48.9658058833 177% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.0 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1764705882 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.70588235294 5.45110844103 160% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.246663976223 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103285613482 0.076458572812 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429875131452 0.0737576698707 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182658684888 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0341408708011 0.0645574589148 53% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.78 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.