Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork, which of the two approaches do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In today's hectic world, quite a few parents have to work for many hours due to economic problems, and they do not have much time to spend with their children. Because they have less time, they do their best to spend the remaining time with their children in an excellent manner. With this in mind, as for the most effective use of this time, some believe that it is more efficient to play games or sports, while other believe that doing schoolwork together leads to better use. I, personally, subscribe to the first one, busy parents should spend their time with their children through having fan rather than doing schoolwork, for some reasons which are explained hereunder.
First, it is true that parents can help their children so that they can do their schoolwork efficiently, however, this may make their children dependent. If children pay enough attention to their teachers and review their lessons daily, they will hardly need to be accompanied by their parents in schoolwork. In contrast, children require their parents affection in every moment of their lives, and enjoying happy time at school would never fill the role of parents sentiment. Having less time, busy parents can considerably make up for their absence by playing games and sports with their children, which brings bliss and content for them. By doing so, parents can make the relationship with their children more friendly.
Secondly, it is clear that entertainment plays an important role in children’s upbringing. To nurture a child who outperforms in many aspects, parents should consider the physical and mental health of their children in addition to their educational abilities. Because busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, they should use that time doing work which is effective in each three aspects—that is—physical, mental, and educational. Parents who simply pay attention to children’s educational aspects and ignore other ones are at the risk of having an ill child. Nevertheless, parents who play games or sports with their children constantly can affect their children in all-above-mentioned aspects positively. There are some scientific research depicting that children playing sports and having more fun are usually happier, healthier, as well as smarter.
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, I believe that the best and most efficient use of time for busy parents with their children is having fun and playing games rather than helping in schoolwork on the ground that their children need affection as well as delight more than education, and they can become more healthier, happier, and smarter through playing. I wish someday comes when parents do not take their time being with children for granted and use it in the excellent manner.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an excellent manner" with adverb for "excellent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... the remaining time with their children in an excellent manner. With this in mind, as for the most eff...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 317, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...ore than education, and they can become more healthier, happier, and smarter through playing. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, well, while, as for, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, as well as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2351.0 1977.66487455 119% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.17841409692 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73428940799 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.447136563877 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 669.6 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.7593813509 48.9658058833 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.294117647 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7058823529 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.52941176471 5.45110844103 156% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.509663860435 0.236089414692 216% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.205204355466 0.076458572812 268% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10925837785 0.0737576698707 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.380359955766 0.150856017488 252% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113286150672 0.0645574589148 175% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.