Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
A controversial issue relating to whether busy parents should best spend their time with their children by having fun playing games or doing together schoolwork, has brought to the attention of relevant people. Many people think that parents should spend their time by playing with their children. On the contrary, in my view, parents should help their children on their schoolwork.
First and foremost, children need someone to guide them while studying and preparing for their homework, this is because not always children understand things in class. To put it in other words, if parents spend sometime with their kids by helping them on schoolwork, then it would be easier for kids to learn effectively and become productive. For example, three decades ago, when I was in elementary school, my father always helped me on my homework. He stood by my side and explained everything that I did not understand. After his explanations, I was able to comprehend things better. If my father had never been guided me on my studies, I would not have been able to become effective on my school preparation. However, some kids may not need their parents guide at all, for many of them is a necessity. According to this example, I believe that it would be better for children if their parents spend their time helping them on schoolwork.
Furthermore, spending time with their children, busy parents will be able to get to know their own children better. For instance, during the time that my father helped me on my homework, he was able to know me even better. Spending enough time together enabled him to understand my ability of studying and capacity of comprehending knowledge, as a young child. In fact, parents will realize their children if they spend time with them. Even though their time is limited, they could use their free time best by helping them on their homework. In contrast, some parents may think that they do not need to spent their time this way in order to know their children. They should engage in other activities such as puzzle games. Overall, parents should better spend their time by helping their kinds on their schoolwork. As a result, they will get to know their children even better.
In conclusion, busy parents should spend their free time by helping their children doing homework. This is because children need somebody who is going to guide them, so that will enable them to become productive. And because by helping their kids on their schoolwork, parents will have the opportunity to know their children better.
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Comments
Hi there! could anybody…
Hi there! could anybody tell me what should I change in this essay in order to get 24 out of 30 points.
I will appreciate your feedback.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 168, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ds, if parents spend sometime with their kids by helping them on schoolwork, then...
^^
Line 5, column 342, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , as
... and capacity of comprehending knowledge,as a young child. In fact, parents will re...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, so, then, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, in my view, in other words, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 68.0 43.0788530466 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1838.0 1977.66487455 93% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99456521739 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61448067797 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 212.727598566 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423913043478 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 528.3 618.680645161 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.3650604411 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.9 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.4 5.45110844103 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.353015266883 0.236089414692 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139403538009 0.076458572812 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117603400195 0.0737576698707 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.255051067943 0.150856017488 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0990432314315 0.0645574589148 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.89 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 86.8835125448 63% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.