Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Time is an important part of our lives. If we do not exploit our time in a rational and useful way, it could have a negative impact on us. That is said, some people claim that busy parents who do not have enough time to spend with their children should use their free time having fun and playing games and sports; others would disagree by saying that they should relate that time to their children schoolwork. As far I am concerned, I support the former idea for two essential reasons.
First of all, the main reason is that spending time with their children playing and having fun would solidify the relationship bond between the parents and their children. When parents spend time with their offsprings during pleasurable activities, they will not focus on livelihood matters, so it would create a sort of a harmonious atmosphere that would lead to building a good relationship with the kids. For example, my uncle and his wife work as managers in different enterprises and they have a minute amount of free time to spend with their eight years old son. During the working days, they almost do not see each other because the parents always return home in later hours of the night and go early in the morning. Basically, they meet with their son during the weekends and it is the time when they take as much as they can to know their son better by going to the park, having a nice game at home or even attending some sports events. Thanks to this little time, they have the advantage to keep building up a strong relationship. As you can see, spending a nice time with the parents could have a positive effect on building a healthy relationship based on happiness.
Second, it would help the parents to discover their children hidden sides or personality. Parents will get closer and closer to their children when they spend more enjoyable time together and this will reveal to the parents the personality of their kids that they developed whether they are pleased with it or not. For instance, my aunt told us that her son who spend a lot of time with her during the weekends that she become so close to him. She was able to discover that her son was picking some insufferable attitudes from his friends at school such as lying, using inappropriate words...etc. Therefore, she was able to know about all this in the early stages of her child life in order to address the problems radically. This story taught me that when adults get closer to their children through the enjoyable activities, parents will get the opportunity to know their kids better.
In sum, though some people may argue with my reasoning, I believe parents should spend their spare time enjoying and having fun with their youngsters. Not only because it would help in strengthening their relationships with their kids but also it would unveil the personalities and the attitudes of their children. Parents should pay great attention to spend their free time having pleasurable activities with their own children.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: KIND_OF_A[1]
Message: Don't include 'a' after a classification term. Use simply 'sort of'.
Suggestion: sort of
...ivelihood matters, so it would create a sort of a harmonious atmosphere that would lead t...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, sort of, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 9.8082437276 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 77.0 43.0788530466 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 52.1666666667 127% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 1977.66487455 125% => OK
No of words: 521.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.74664107486 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49998065871 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46641074856 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 726.3 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.0534566285 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.65 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.05 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.65 5.45110844103 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.455404351109 0.236089414692 193% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.15352540551 0.076458572812 201% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.121955804049 0.0737576698707 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.321196715484 0.150856017488 213% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114972980126 0.0645574589148 178% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 58.1214874552 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.29 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.