Some young people are free in the evenings or have days off at school, which way can bring them the most benefit?
۱٫ To accumulate work experience by a part-time job or volunteering in a community
۲٫Learning to play a sport
۳٫ Learning to play a musical instrument
In my opinion, students should spend their free time to work in a part-time job or as a volunteer in a local community. It’s good for them because they can make some money through a part-time job. Moreover, they can make themselves distinguish for local businessmen by working with them, either as a part-time colleague or as a volunteer. I will illustrate my reasons in the following paragraphs.
First of all, having a part-time job can bring some money for students. For example, when I was a high school student, I used to teach painting in my free time to children in a kindergarten. Not only that job filled my free time but also I earned some money from that. Although the amount of money wasn’t so much, it became a considerable amount when added up. Indeed, at the end of my high school years, I could buy a laptop computer by the total amount of that money. Thus, I think should students spend their time working in a part-time position, they can make some money to buy some of their necessary things.
As the second reason, if students work in a company or a community, they can get acquainted with business people, who can help them to find a good job in the future. In fact, this opportunity can be an investment for their future job, after their graduation. For instance, I have a friend who spent a lot of her free time to do voluntary kinds of stuff in a local community, when we were high school students. They did things such as cleaning green spaces in that community. I blamed her every time because I thought that is an unnecessary thing and municipality staff could do that job without her help. Actually, I was wrong because when we graduated, my friend had lots of offers from bosses who know her from her voluntary working days in that community. She was offered several good jobs as an official staff in that community or the municipality department. On the other hand, it took a long time for me to find a moderate job for myself because nobody knew me in local companies and offices. Hence, I believe that working part-time or volunteer in a community can bring good business relationships for students and consequently, offering good full-time jobs by those businessmen in the future.
Based on the aforementioned reasons, it can be concluded that hardly can anything else be as beneficial as a part-time job or working as a volunteer in a community for students. Therefore, I suggest them to have a part-time job or voluntary responsibility in a community in their free time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 620, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to buy some of their necessary things. As the second reason, if students work i...
^^^^
Line 5, column 123, Rule ID: HELP_TO_FIND[1]
Message: This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write 'help them find' instead.
Suggestion: help them find
...cquainted with business people, who can help them to find a good job in the future. In fact, this...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, moreover, second, so, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, i think, in fact, such as, first of all, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2080.0 1977.66487455 105% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67415730337 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8401649694 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.447191011236 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.0 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.6314626892 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.0476190476 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1904761905 20.6045352989 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.14285714286 5.45110844103 168% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252171566285 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0948109144892 0.076458572812 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0694881671996 0.0737576698707 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196495342357 0.150856017488 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0373186328656 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.