In their free time, young people (aged14-18) spend time taking part in different activities such as music lessons or competitive sports. Some young people devote their time in various kinds of activities, but other young people will spend most of their time focusing on one activity that is important to them. Which approach do you think is better?
Devoting enough time to do other interesting activities is a very significant part for students’ study life. As for a majority of students, most them prefer to do kinds of activities rather than concentrate on one specific activity. From my point of view, I assume that modern students should focus on an activity that is important for them.
To begin with, being absorbed in one special activity will help students make more accomplishments with the activity. When students start to focus on one thing, they will properly acquire a great amount of time to make a decent plan with their pace of learning. Following great scheme that students already have, students will comfortably enjoy in the process of doing. Compared with that, students who take a great numbers of activities might feel anxious and nervous when they do not get enough time to deal with lots of activities. For example, I have attempted to join various clubs when I enter my college at first year, and I feel exciting with my wonderful study life if I can get these activities in my future. However, I realize that I make a worst mistake, since I do not have enough time to face my formal course instead of spending too much time on other activities which do not relate with my study. Until I resolve these inconveniences and cancel lots of clubs activities, I already waste lots of time. Compared with my condition, some students who just focus on an activity always keep a great pace of learning. Thus, concentrating on one programs is far more of importance for modern students.
In addition, focusing on one project can bring better effect for students’ future. If students directly persist on one activity, like joining the chess club and always practicing their skills of chess, they can acquire lots of deeper understandings about this field than others. When he or she graduate from school, this successful skills will unquestionably help them a lot in their future. For a instance, my little brother has always been obsessing on the planet, such as some images respecting Mars, Earth, and so on. He is always willing to share lots of academic knowledge about astronomy to me in my daily life. After he enters his high school, he intentionally joins the school’s astronomy seminar with unhesitating. Nowadays, he is a famous college students who concentrate on planet’s fields. When I ask him about his achievements, he always tells me that he accumulates lots useful experience about planets when he was a child, and he can always use these expertises to help himself to overcome some issues that he was encountered with his learning. In his future, I believe he can make acquire more accomplishments in his own fields. Hence, Absorbing on one special program is far more important for modern students.
Hence, I completely believe that students should concentrate on one activity.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 750, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
... future. However, I realize that I make a worst mistake, since I do not have enou...
^
Line 3, column 396, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ly help them a lot in their future. For a instance, my little brother has always ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, so, thus, as for, for example, i feel, in addition, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2389.0 1977.66487455 121% => OK
No of words: 484.0 407.700716846 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93595041322 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82263998094 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 212.727598566 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.48347107438 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 751.5 618.680645161 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0078338067 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.869565217 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0434782609 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.39130434783 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133941381328 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0445029727453 0.076458572812 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0502603905572 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0812330924937 0.150856017488 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0657019605031 0.0645574589148 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.