TPO 21 Independent writing task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
By and large, it is established beyond doubt in such a sophisticated world with rapid changing of the circumstances, many people have serious concerns about achieving success in their career path. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is while some people maintain that attaining work success depends on the vital role of high quality skills of communicating with others, others may hold the view that trying hard to study school lessons are more important. To my way of thinking, appropriate ability of relating with others is more important because not only does success in job entail an efficient network of people, but also people can acquire required knowledge and experience during their career path. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
The first aspect to point out is that networking is an essential element for achieving job success. In fact, people have a chance for getting promoted when their responsibilities are fulfilled and they prove their talents and abilities in their occupations. Essentially, this necessitate a strong and broad network of people. As an illustration, in a work procedure, one should know whom to contact and make well-organized connections with right people in each steps. Moreover, building a trustful relationship with other have high importance for accomplishing career advancement. In other words, effective networking provides employees with potent bonds of trustful relationship with their colleagues. For example, a person can benefit from a strong network which he has made and easily finish a job in an excellent manner and on the other hand, if lacking the mentioned network, he may encounter serious problems and in this case, there is no guarantee for achieving same quality. All things considered, In the presence of this network, one can better show his talents and abilities and also by demonstrating better caliber, he may achieve job promotion more probably.
There is another factor that deserves some words here. In the majority of professions Acquiring work experience and practical knowledge are more effectual factor than educational school lessons. Although, making hard efforts for studying in school has its importance, there is a gap between needed field knowledge and those lessons in school. For instance, as a result of emerging rapid developments, instructions that one has received before may not be able to be used in work procedures nowadays. In addition, job prosperity will not be attained without gaining professional field experience which one can merely reaches during years of working. As a result, this factor reveals that studying in school whether with making sufficient efforts or vice versa is not as important as practical expertness. Furthermore, job experience can be considered as a prerequisite of relating well with others. To illustrate, one have higher potential to prove his expertise and make reliable and beneficial connections when he can take advantage of demanding knowledge.
In a word, by taking into account all these factors, we may come to the conclusion that compared to studying hard in school, making useful relations is a more vital factor for become successful in one’s career path due to many reasons, among which, importance of networking and priority of the essential role of having professional experience against the school lessons are the most significant ones. Who can deny the importance of having access to a large pool of professionals for achieving feats of job prosperity?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 802, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an excellent manner" with adverb for "excellent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ich he has made and easily finish a job in an excellent manner and on the other hand, if lacking the m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 615, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'reach'
Suggestion: reach
...l field experience which one can merely reaches during years of working. As a result, t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, well, while, for example, for instance, in addition, in fact, as a result, by and large, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 52.1666666667 153% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2990.0 1977.66487455 151% => OK
No of words: 560.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.33928571429 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.002207946 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 293.0 212.727598566 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523214285714 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 922.5 618.680645161 149% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.9471206237 48.9658058833 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.909090909 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4545454545 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 5.45110844103 156% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221731764072 0.236089414692 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0667564521487 0.076458572812 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0450553640261 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.149841894657 0.150856017488 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0186289715097 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.4 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 10.9000537634 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.13 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 151.0 86.8835125448 174% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.