TPO 24
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
By and large, it is established beyond doubt in such a sophisticated world with rapid changing of the circumstances, many people have serious concerns about supporting their children to find their path of life. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this idea is while some people maintain that it is better for parents to encourage their adolescent children to be employed in a part-time job, others may hold a different attitude toward it. To my way of thinking, experiencing a part-time job is one of the most appropriate ways that parents can help their teenage children to get prepared for adult life because not only can children gain some valuable experiences but also it can be a good opportunity for children to discover their interests and talents. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.
The first aspect to point out is that taking part-time job provides opportunities for children to experience real job conditions and achieve useful insights toward their future career path. In fact, in this situation encountering work difficulties and struggling with this hardships help them to prepare better for adult life. In other words, by working as a part-time employees, teenagers gain this experiences for less costs while they should manage lower level of risk. Additionally, this will endow them with the quality of higher accountability. For example, when an adolescent tries to carry out his responsibilities in a job position and as a result his performance, he get rewarded or penalized, he will understand how these reward and punishment procedure works and try to do his best in the future. Apart from this, in real job conditions youngsters learn how to face and solve emerging problems. Although in a part-time job position there is less working stresses surrounding them, eventually some problems will rises as they interact with others in work procedures or when they are trying to do their tasks, so they will learn how to cope with this problems in future.
There is another factor that deserves some words here. Parents’ helps and inspirations which they give their children to take part-time jobs help youngsters for better understanding of their talents and assessing their interests in a real working field. In particular, juveniles will have an opportunity to know their abilities better and evaluate their own performances in a professional working situation. Either they work in their fields of interest or not, this experiences will provide them with information that help them a lot to achieve more accurate understanding of their natural talents. Accordingly they can recognize their competitive edge over others and concentrate on fostering these attributes. Moreover this job experiences aid them to attain better knowledge of their interests. As a matter of illustration, in this case, people can take advantage of having a try and error approach to realize whether they love a specific job or not at less expenses.
In a word, by taking into account all these factors, we may come to the conclusion that one of the most appropriate ways that parents can guide their adolescent children to get prepared for adult life is persuading them to become a part-time employers because of many reasons, among which, gaining usable experiences and discovering their abilities and their interests are the most significant ones. Who can deny the importance of Job experience and the vital role of being passionate for achieving job success?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 370, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'employee'?
Suggestion: employee
... other words, by working as a part-time employees, teenagers gain this experiences for le...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 417, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun costs is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...es, teenagers gain this experiences for less costs while they should manage lower le...
^^^^
Line 3, column 678, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...ion and as a result his performance, he get rewarded or penalized, he will understa...
^^^
Line 3, column 1024, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'rise'
Suggestion: rise
...ing them, eventually some problems will rises as they interact with others in work pr...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1157, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...ks, so they will learn how to cope with this problems in future. There is anothe...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1171, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ll learn how to cope with this problems in future. There is another factor that deser...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 605, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Accordingly,
...understanding of their natural talents. Accordingly they can recognize their competitive ed...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 718, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...centrate on fostering these attributes. Moreover this job experiences aid them to attain...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 885, Rule ID: TRY_AND[1]
Message: "Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "'try to'" is recommended for writing.
Suggestion: try to
..., people can take advantage of having a try and error approach to realize whether they ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 962, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun expenses is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ther they love a specific job or not at less expenses. In a word, by taking into...
^^^^
Line 7, column 243, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'employer'?
Suggestion: employer
...s persuading them to become a part-time employers because of many reasons, among which, g...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, while, apart from, for example, in fact, in particular, as a result, by and large, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 79.0 52.1666666667 151% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2944.0 1977.66487455 149% => OK
No of words: 567.0 407.700716846 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.19223985891 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87972968509 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97819319905 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.490299823633 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 905.4 618.680645161 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 14.0 4.94265232975 283% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.2049746371 48.9658058833 182% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.2 100.406767564 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.35 20.6045352989 138% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.1 5.45110844103 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343409211729 0.236089414692 145% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.109179763236 0.076458572812 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0842537294144 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.24186526715 0.150856017488 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.05309162918 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 11.7677419355 146% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.12 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 86.8835125448 153% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.