TPO 40
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
There is no shortage of opinion on whether parents should reward their children with cash for high grades. In my opinion, encouraging students with money has many drawbacks. I feel this way for three main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent ideas.
Firstly, even though parents can inspire their offspring for short time, consequences may provide unsatisfactory results after long period, especially when they start living independently from their parents. Main reason of this result is that they are encouraged by external influence and studied for the money rather than knowledge. For instance, my parents had been rewarding my sister for the success in the high school until she starts studying in the university. Unfortunately, her grades dropped significantly as soon as she stops receiving money because there was nothing to encourage her. By contrast, my brother who have never received reward for grades are still succeeding in the university. Because he was motivated internally and strived for knowledge rather than other things, he is managing himself self-dependably and adequately.
Secondly, pupils may be distracted from the lesson as soon as they get money and available to enjoy things unrelated to the education. Afterwards, they may start expending their valuable time which should be spent for knowledge because they are capable of doing unnecessary things with money, which will probably occasion distraction from the study. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter is influenced by my own experience. Until my parents start giving me bonus from my mother, I had had the acceptable success in the school including prizes of mathematics competitions and grade. Unfortunately, I afforded cellphone with a bonus I received, and started expending magnitude of time on the social platforms and mobile games, so I repeated grades for whole year. Drawing from my own experience, students cannot to concentrate on the lesson comprehensively if they have money.
Finally, all available money of parents should be dedicated for necessary things such as books, laptop and tutors. Therefore, students' chance to improve themselves will be increased profoundly, which is the large investment for education. For example, my friend who has never received cash but handouts and other necessary investments from his father is good at every subject because he was always capable of attending additional class and perusing requisite materials. Therefore, he have succeeded thanks to the appropriate assistance of father.
To sum up, I am of the opinion that offering young people bonus for satisfactory grade is improper method. This is because they will lose the commitment as soon as they stop taking appraisal, may get distracted in light of money and parents' possible income should be devoted for the necessary matters.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 485, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...sing requisite materials. Therefore, he have succeeded thanks to the appropriate ass...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, for example, for instance, i feel, such as, in my opinion, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2414.0 1977.66487455 122% => OK
No of words: 451.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35254988914 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90181476079 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541019955654 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 745.2 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.197274816 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.952380952 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4761904762 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253170809854 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0759202719875 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0439931845415 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150651401369 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0419799181693 0.0645574589148 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 11.7677419355 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 10.9000537634 126% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 86.8835125448 142% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.