TPO 40
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Upbringing a child is undoubtedly one of the most challenging things to do. You will face a lot of unexpected situations that will leave you in doubt. Sometimes the right thing to do is not an easy task, but being a parent requires you always to do the right thing no matter how hard it is. Giving money to children is the easy way to motivate them to study. Yet, it is definitely the wrong approach.
Rewarding children with money is actually a bribe, and parents will suffer its consequences in the future. When kids grow up, they will demand more money. My nephew: Adam, who is now sixteen years old, is an excellent example of why the financial reward is a bad idea. When Adam was six years old, my sister used to give him five dollars for every A+ he got. Adams hated school so much, and my sister did not have the patience to deal with this issue, so she came up with this easy solution; to bribe her kids to study. Everything went fine for a while until Adam started to ask for more money each year. She was able to keep up with his demands for few years. However, now that he is a teenager and at an age eligible to drive, Adams wants a sport-car that costs over twenty thousand dollars to study for his final exams. My sister does not have that kind of money, and they are constantly fighting over this matter. I do not blame Adam for this behavior because she taught him to be this materialistic his entire life.
Another reason why I disagree with this approach is it makes children irresponsible and selfish. They will not work for a better future for themselves. My young brother was a star student; he was at the top of his class his entire life. We had such big hopes for him. After losing my father, my mom started to give him money for every high grade he got. She felt guilty that she was busy with work all the time, and she had no time to help him with his homework. My brother is now twenty-one, and he is unemployed. He does not have any sense of responsibility to get a job and provide for himself because he used to get a lot of money just for studying. Now, he thinks he is better than people with jobs; he thinks he is too smart to get an eight to five job. He wants my mother to give him seed money to start his own project, and he does not care that my mom cannot spend all her savings on him. I believe his selfishness and irresponsibility are direct results of the financial rewards he received as a child.
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 756, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'job' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'jobs'.
Suggestion: jobs
...he is too smart to get an eight to five job. He wants my mother to give him seed mo...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, however, if, so, while, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1975.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23819742489 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33986775685 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512875536481 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.9603537076 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.9615384615 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9230769231 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.76923076923 5.45110844103 32% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.85842293907 311% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179917619836 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0526277409839 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0355031559733 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120393052534 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275348943902 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.5 11.7677419355 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.02 10.9000537634 64% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.95 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 756, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'job' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'jobs'.
Suggestion: jobs
...he is too smart to get an eight to five job. He wants my mother to give him seed mo...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, however, if, so, while, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1975.0 1977.66487455 100% => OK
No of words: 466.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.23819742489 4.8611393121 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64618479453 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33986775685 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512875536481 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 622.8 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 20.0 9.59856630824 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.86738351254 375% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.9603537076 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.9615384615 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9230769231 20.6045352989 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.76923076923 5.45110844103 32% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 3.85842293907 311% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179917619836 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0526277409839 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0355031559733 0.0737576698707 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120393052534 0.150856017488 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0275348943902 0.0645574589148 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.5 11.7677419355 64% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.02 10.9000537634 64% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.95 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Minimum four paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.