TPO-44 - Independent Writing TaskSome people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing thi

Essay topics:

TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task

Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are related to schoolwork. Which of the two approaches do you prefer?

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Hobbies and pastime are the unseperatable parts of human life. It does not matter who you are or how busy you are; in order to have a healthy and happy life you should have lesuire time and enjoy it as best one can. Some people believe that parants should spend their time with their own child helping them in courses they enroll and homeworks. while others do not concede with this point of view. In my opinion, the best way, bustling parents can spend their time with their child is having fun and playing games and sports with them. The reason why I belive so are manifold three of which,however, are of great consequence which I will elborate upon hereunder.
First, while parents decided to spend the limited time they have by having funs and doing some sports; they will teach their child that there is an important issue to take good care of their health by having such a hobbies. For instance, if parents go swimming with their childern they will have fun and also can teach them that no matter how bussy you are, you should exercise in order to maintain a good health condition.
secondary, parents will also teach their childern through games. Thus, besides having fun time, childern can learn and use their sense of crativity and logic to slove problems and games. As an illustration, while I was a child, my father and I used to play puzzels with each other, while I was enjoying the time, owing to wisedom of my beloved father I got to think more and use my imaginary potential more. So as can be infernced from the example above while I was having a great time and enjoying my leasuire time with my bussy parents I got to have a better quality of imagination and also broaden my knowlege and creativity.
In the long run, when parents and childern play sports and games together they get close to each other and will be more intimate. while if they just spend time doing homeworks, the child and parents will spend a cumbersome time together where both are willing to get finish sooner and they will not understand each other properly. During the fun time, parnets could ask about their child problem and also asking she/he simple questions that how did you spend your day?; questions that will amplify their friendship relation. while if parents choose to only study with their child asking such a question will be no more than a distruction.
All in all,with having in mind the parents are the essential source which will provide childern how to behave and act; I am a great believer that parents should spend their sparse time with having fun with their childern, so they can help them in each aspect of life and teach them how to live.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 346, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...m in courses they enroll and homeworks. while others do not concede with this point o...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 346, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “while” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...m in courses they enroll and homeworks. while others do not concede with this point o...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 591, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , however
... I belive so are manifold three of which,however, are of great consequence which I will ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 214, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a hobby' or simply 'hobbies'?
Suggestion: a hobby; hobbies
...ood care of their health by having such a hobbies. For instance, if parents go swimming w...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 290, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o swimming with their childern they will have fun and also can teach them that no...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondary
...r to maintain a good health condition. secondary, parents will also teach their childern...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...o each other and will be more intimate. while if they just spend time doing homeworks...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 525, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: While
...will amplify their friendship relation. while if parents choose to only study with th...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 525, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “while” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...will amplify their friendship relation. while if parents choose to only study with th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 11, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , with
... no more than a distruction. All in all,with having in mind the parents are the esse...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, however, if, second, so, thus, while, for instance, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2184.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 476.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58823529412 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.23834457301 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455882352941 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 661.5 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.51792114695 256% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.5923603097 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.470588235 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.11764705882 5.45110844103 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.372668964141 0.236089414692 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134839013548 0.076458572812 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0853205321757 0.0737576698707 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231720357313 0.150856017488 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0549258334947 0.0645574589148 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 10.1575268817 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.64 10.9000537634 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.38 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 71.0 86.8835125448 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.