TPO 8 – Task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Television advertising directed toward young children ( aged two to five) should not be allowed
The issue of whether television advertising toward young children should be banned aroused much controversy among people of different ages and different perspectives. Definitely, some people if were asked would agree with the statement that the advertising that aimed toward the children at the age of two to five should not be permitted while others have a negative attitude. As I am concerned, I completely agree with the advertisement for very young children has a lot of disadvantages and should not be allowed. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on arguments to support my view.
The first reason to be mentioned is that children at that age are not enough matured to realize what is harmful, what is a benefit for them. As very young children have not enough wisdom and experience to help them evaluate the product that advertises on TV, they choose just according to the appealing appearance without considering the advantages or disadvantages of that product. The company that advertises for young children use this point to deceive them to buy their product. For example, a company that makes electric toys, knows very well just by adding some musical sounds and colorful designs can capture their mind and easily persuade them to buy their toys while these toys might be harmful to the children’s health.
In approaching that issue, apart from the points stated above, the second reason that deserves some points is that these kinds of advertisements influence the family’s financial condition. As you know, the product that is specified for children are usually expensive, as the family always wants to provide their children the best things, they have to spend a lot of money on them while they might not enough money for those expensive goods. Therefore, they have to get a part-time job as well as their main job to afford that .to illustrate that idea let’s consider the following example. In my country, one of the biggest problem that family confronts is the high expectation of children to buy everything advertises on TV. parents work day and night to buy their children’s wants and need.
By the way of conclusion, base on the arguments that explored above I am of the opinion that advertisement toward the young children should be banned due to the children’s lack sufficient maturity that caused they could not realize the bad and good product from each other. Furthermore, it has negative effects on the financial condition of the family.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 343, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... provide their children the best things, they have to spend a lot of money on the...
^^
Line 3, column 532, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...as well as their main job to afford that .to illustrate that idea let's consi...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the financial condition of the family.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, second, so, therefore, well, while, apart from, for example, you know, as well as, by the way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2092.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 413.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06537530266 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85835940776 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 212.727598566 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501210653753 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 641.7 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.8239478032 48.9658058833 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.466666667 100.406767564 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5333333333 20.6045352989 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.8 5.45110844103 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275383750297 0.236089414692 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0983577483197 0.076458572812 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0998246834474 0.0737576698707 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184840440578 0.150856017488 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131994503401 0.0645574589148 204% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 11.7677419355 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 58.1214874552 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.