Tpo15:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Personally, I believe that is a significant subject matter in rearing children. I mean, teach kids how to manage the money is really vital, in order to bring responsible individuals in the society. That's why I share the idea of this statement and I think children should learn to manage their own money at young age, In order to become financially responsible adults. In the following paragraphs I tender my opinions about this issue.
First, I believe by applying this idea, children find out the value of money. In other words, they understand how much difficult to gain money, so that they become highly responsible, in order to spend it correctly. To be more specific, kids can learn how much their parents strive, in order to earn money. For instance, when I was child my father gave me the exact amount of money in the early of each month, even if I spent all of my money he would not pay me extras. He used to say that child need to know how much is arduous gaining money. He strongly believed in this idea that his child need to be responsible, and one way that he always exert to make his kids responsible is to teach them to take care of expenses. Hence, parents need to control amount of cashes that they pay to their child, so that children get to know the value of earning money.
Second, parents can teach their kids how to save money and make a deposit in their bank account. I believe saving money is pivotal skill that every persons need to know it, in order to prevent bankruptcy. If the people learn how to make a deposit, they would avoid borrowing loans from banks or other financial agencies. For example, my uncle used to run a cotton factory. His business would really profitable and prosperous so that he would waste his money in some unimportant aspects such as purchasing different cars or houses. He did not have single penny of deposit. Since the great depression started, he forced to lay off most of his workers and eventually he became bankrupt, because his huge debts to the bank. If he knew how to save money and learn it from his parents, he would definitely avoid bankruptcy and remain as a rich person.
In general, parents can learn their child how to save money and have a precious deposit, and also teach them the value of money. In this way, they can rear some responsible individuals who are highly familiar with the importance of gaining and saving money. Therefore, they would not waste their financial resources.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 158, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...money is really vital, in order to bring responsible individuals in the society. ...
^^
Line 1, column 200, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...responsible individuals in the society. Thats why I share the idea of this statement ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 398, Rule ID: I_AM[1]
Message: Did you mean 'I am'?
Suggestion: I am
...ble adults. In the following paragraphs I tender my opinions about this issue. ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, really, second, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i mean, i think, in general, such as, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2030.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 440.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.61363636364 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45838819568 2.67179642975 92% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477272727273 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 624.6 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.054211104 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.2727272727 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211736103572 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0724572718958 0.076458572812 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.089698841991 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167744606201 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.108611413815 0.0645574589148 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.46 10.9000537634 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.