TPO35
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In the era of the Internet, celebrities in all spheres have fewer privacy than before because their information, public or private, is often exposed in news website or social platform like twitter and facebook. Among them, entertainers and atheletes are more attrated to the public. Some think that these famous people earn much more money than the normal ones due to their public activities, including attending to TV shows, acting in dramas or movies and participating to sport games, so that their privacy is automatically owned by the audiance and the public. However, I cannot agree this statement for the reasons below.
First, privacy is a basic right of every human being which cannot be deprivated by any individual, group or society. Even though the famous people are too often to present in the public places, which may make people confuse that they have no privacy at all, they do really have this fundamental right as far as they are members of human.
Second, it is evident that public activities are taken places in public, which means that the attending ones have allow their behaviors to be publicized. On the contrary, private activities are belong to limited individuals who involve in, which means that there is no allowance for other people to record or retell them. Nevertheless, some people like to take pictures of those entertaining and sports stars sneakly and upload them in the Internet, which definitely damange their privacy. Because people do pay much attention with the famous ones, and these pictures can attract attention. Attention in the Internet era means money, but its cost is the privacy of the famous. What is the worse is that the losing privacy of famous, which is benefit for the people who expose it, often damange their reputation and no one will pay for this.
In conclusion, in considering of the basic right of human beings and the damange caused by other people, famous entertainers and athletes deserve their privacy more than they have present.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 115, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'allowed'.
Suggestion: allowed
...hich means that the attending ones have allow their behaviors to be publicized. On th...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 194, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'belonged'.
Suggestion: belonged
...On the contrary, private activities are belong to limited individuals who involve in, ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, may, nevertheless, really, second, so, in conclusion, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 334.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99401197605 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5405104624 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.538922155689 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 533.7 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 61.7495418377 48.9658058833 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.307692308 100.406767564 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.6923076923 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.92307692308 5.45110844103 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211353595205 0.236089414692 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0828201734118 0.076458572812 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0685586171699 0.0737576698707 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.161590317026 0.150856017488 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0660776342756 0.0645574589148 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 58.1214874552 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 10.1575268817 128% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.01818996416 112% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.