TPO44-Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Other believe that it is best to use that time doing things together that are relate
It goes without saying that in this sophisticated and progressive world where we live, parents work so much and they have less time to spend with their children's. Recently, there has been a hot debate between people whether parents use their short free time to play and have fun with their kids or doing tasks that related to schoolwork. From my perspective, I prefer to parents paly and have fun with their kids in their free times. On the countless reasons and examples, I will present the most essential and conspicuous ones here.
To begin with, playing games or sport is nature of the kids. The always want to play and have fun, so they always looking for someone to play. It is possible that find friends who are bad person. Parents must spend their free times with kids and play game and sports with them, so they don’t have to play with others. My personal experience is compelling example of this. When my cousin was 17 years old, his parents always was working, and didn’t spend time with him to play games and sports. Therefore, every day he went to play yard and play with other kids. There was an adult man there. He always talked with children’s and gives them candies, so children’s like him so much. One day, after the game, he approached to my cousin and gave him candy and started to talk. Days passed away, they got closer and was spending so much time with each other. One day I was sitting at home with my family then the phone did rang. I answered the phone, my uncle was at the other side of the line. He told me to come hospital and he was crying, so we went there .My cousin was on the bed. When we asked them to what is happening, his father told us that an adult man give him candies that has drug inside it. Consequently, if his parent spend their free time to play and have fun with him, their kids never went to play yard to play with other kids and met with bad guys.
Last but not least, parents can teach new things to their children by playing game and sport. For instance, when parents have free time, they can go with theirs kids to sport yard and teach them how play football. With this method they can spend time with kids and teach them something new, and emotionally support them. Moreover playing football is also good for children’s health. They muscles get strong and their body shape get better or they brain will work more functionally.
To wrap it up, I prefer to parents allocate their free times to children’s to play games and sports rather than do things that related to their school works. Because by doing that they can take care of their children and don't let to play with strangers. Also, they can teach them new skills with playing with them.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...him to play games and sports. Therefore, every day he went to play yard and play ...
^^^
Line 3, column 941, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'ring'
Suggestion: ring
... home with my family then the phone did rang. I answered the phone, my uncle was at ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1076, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ital and he was crying, so we went there .My cousin was on the bed. When we asked ...
^^
Line 3, column 1078, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: My
...al and he was crying, so we went there .My cousin was on the bed. When we asked th...
^^
Line 3, column 1208, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'drugged'.
Suggestion: drugged
... an adult man give him candies that has drug inside it. Consequently, if his parent ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 322, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...hing new, and emotionally support them. Moreover playing football is also good for child...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 394, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'muscle'
Suggestion: muscle
...o good for children's health. They muscles get strong and their body shape get bet...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 227, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...hey can take care of their children and dont let to play with strangers. Also, they ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, look, moreover, so, then, therefore, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 13.8261648746 217% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2239.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.49598393574 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.26909851786 2.67179642975 85% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477911646586 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 635.4 618.680645161 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.2829547601 48.9658058833 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.9642857143 100.406767564 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7857142857 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.32142857143 5.45110844103 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338957116008 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104435060745 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0952411701611 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.246768459836 0.150856017488 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0449986341245 0.0645574589148 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.7 11.7677419355 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.52 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.48 8.01818996416 81% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.