TPO46-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Everything in life is like a coin with two sides. There have been some moot points about the value of the opinions of celebrities and old people in the sign of young people. The question of whether the opinions of famous persons are more important than older people or not has aroused as a subject of controversy among academicians. When it comes to my position by weighing up the pros and cons, I strongly subscribe to the point that the viewpoints of celebrities and artists are more important than others in younger guys sight. I have some reasons, the most outstanding of which will be explicated in the ensuing paragraphs.
The first reason worth discussing here is that nowadays, young persons are engaged in social media dramatically. They spend most of their time on the internet and cyberspace. In order to a widespread activity of famous people in cyberspace, children have more connection with these individuals. To be more specific, children follow their celebrities in the cyberspace and pursue their standpoints utterly. In this way, celebrities and artists have more influence on juveniles. As a case to the viewpoint, I vividly remember, two years ago a terrible earthquake occurred in my country which leads to many ruins. My sister who is very active in social media, enforced me to donate some clothes for those people. When I asked about the reasons for her insistence, I realized that one of the celebrities who my sister followed him on Instagram, invited his followers to help those people. My personal example competently corroborates to the point that young guys pursue the opinions of famous people exactly.
By the same token, another paramount reason to be mentioned here is that the horizon of the celebrities and athletes are more similar to the horizon of young people. Old people standpoints probably are very moderated and smoothed. Thus children and young persons incline to these kinds of person. My personal example demonstrates this reality when I was a high school student, My grandfather obliged me to attend to military service, on the other hand, one of the most well-known athletes in that era invited young people to attend to university and pursue their education. After some research, I realized that attendance at the university is more important for me and I could pave the way and reached my goals with this choice. As a consequence, my horizon was parallel to that athletes and was contradict to my grandfather.
To wrap it up, according to the aforementioned reasons, I reiterate that nowadays the viewpoints of famous people are more significant for young people that old people. These persons not only pursue in cyberspace in a great degree but also they have the same horizon toward young people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 175, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: Whether; The question whether
...old people in the sign of young people. The question of whether the opinions of famous persons are more...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 232, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...obably are very moderated and smoothed. Thus children and young persons incline to t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 797, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'contradicted'.
Suggestion: contradicted
...n was parallel to that athletes and was contradict to my grandfather. To wrap it up, acc...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, so, thus, well, by the same token, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 43.0788530466 118% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2295.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.98913043478 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83557854257 2.67179642975 106% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463043478261 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 733.5 618.680645161 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.7637074113 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.318181818 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9090909091 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36363636364 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.185342545895 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0587658975423 0.076458572812 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0494978182067 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129057858999 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0390271790801 0.0645574589148 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.