A university has money in its budget to do one thing to improve its facilities for students. It can either improve the quality of the technology (for example computers and printers) that it provides for students. Or it can redesign spaces where students hold club meetings and gather with friends in their spare time to make these areas more comfortable and appealing. Which idea do you prefer and why?
All universities act like a factory that young inexperienced students are changed to proficient skilled people. Therefore, it is absolutely weighty to pay attention to how the university budget is distributed. Some people believe that it is better to spend more money for improving the technology; however, others think that more budget should be allocated to renew the spaces such as club meetings. In my own perspective, I do believe that the second idea is more rational for two main reasons which are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
First of all, a new interesting design of spaces will lead to boost not only the students’ morale but also their performance. In fact, people, especially students, need some external incentive to push them forward in their life. My own experience is a compelling support for this concept. During my university period, when I was studying computer engineering at Shanghai University, we did not a place to rest, meet, and talk to our friends in our free times between different classes. Therefore, we always stayed in classes or went to a cafe that cost pretty much for us. Once the university has changed some spaces, a new interesting site was opened in the middle of our faculty. This was a place where all the students of the faculty even other departments came to have some fun with others. It gradually became the heart of our faculty. Whenever a person was upset he/she just tried hard to reach there and be in that friendly atmosphere. After just one year of its establishment, all the students’ scores increased noticeably that no one could dismiss the effect of that new space. Students’ attention was attracted to that meeting club in where most of the students cooperate with each other in solving problems and doing projects. I have made perfect memories of that place and it was beneficial for me both in my interest and knowledge.
Second, although extending academic knowledge is the main purpose, we cannot discard the importance of other factors such as social ability. Indeed, most students, like me, have another attitude for attending in university. Social relationships play a decisive role in the formation of individuals’ character which is strongly contributive in the future life of each student. For instance, when my brother was at the age of 17 he had a shy character, he did not learn the right manner in which to initiate a simple conversation with his classmates. Conversely, he completely changed after graduating from the business department of the China University. What happened to him is a good example of the effect of university meeting places. They had an especial place to discuss their courses which were located outside of their academic building. In fact, they lived four years at that place, talking with each other, presenting different lectures, watching football games, and etc. Consequently, their social abilities were strongly strengthened via this place which helps them in finding perfect positions in high-level companies. I think that the purpose of the university should be deeper than just providing a place with high technology devices such as computers.
In sum, it is obvious from my explanation that redesigning some spaces for students to have a meeting club is desirable to get more money from the university budget. This is just because of the students' attraction, the effectiveness of their courses, and also gaining social abilities. That's why we should pay more attention to the atmosphere of a university.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 977, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...rent lectures, watching football games, and etc. Consequently, their social abilities we...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 195, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ity budget. This is just because of the students attraction, the effectiveness of their ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 287, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...ses, and also gaining social abilities. Thats why we should pay more attention to the...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, conversely, first, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, for instance, i think, in fact, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2971.0 1977.66487455 150% => OK
No of words: 579.0 407.700716846 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13126079447 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90534594407 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96303098539 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 307.0 212.727598566 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.530224525043 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 933.3 618.680645161 151% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.5135128831 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.448275862 100.406767564 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9655172414 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.79310344828 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210682303121 0.236089414692 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0498069502258 0.076458572812 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0467774364796 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.133511178612 0.150856017488 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.033423185581 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 152.0 86.8835125448 175% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.