Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The above statement poses a hot topic on the contradiction of people's personal enjoyments and responsibilities. And the speaker tends to think people now are dedicating more on personal likeness than on what they should do. I strongly disagree with this opinion because I think that to pursue one's individual enjoyment does not contradict to assume the responsibility.
Admittedly, people nowadays increasingly enjoy the freedom to pursue personal enjoyment than before. As the development of democracy, the ideas and behaviors of an individual are respected and encouraged to some extent. For instance, students can choose any major which they favor mostly; graduates can participate in whatever professions they are interested in; citizens possess absolute freedom on free press and behaviors they like. Briefly, people have much time and freedom to do their favorite things. However, spending much time on personal enjoyment does not indicate that people ignore their accountability which should be taken. Let's take a college student in art for example. Generally, students in art major should spend much time on reading and appreciating art history, biography of artists and art works. Yet, the student favors more on economics. He probably continues to earn his degree on art with great interest in economic as well. Or he may pursue a second degree on economics. No matter what his decision is, he takes his responsibility to become a worthy student of his major.
In addition, to pursue one's personal enjoyment help to assume the responsibility. People should not be blamed for their time spent on things they like. Obviously, people lived in an time teemed with tense competition and they are often under a huge pressure. After a whole day job or a period of work, you probably make yourself drunk, or go for shopping crazily, or bury yourself in a series of insane music, or whatsoever you prefer. Of course you are most likely to become relaxed and inspired through these favorite experience. Eventually, the great physical and mental recreation is conducive to a better performance in your profession the next day.
To sum up, it is unreasonable to separate apart what people like to do and what they should do. The pursuit on personal enjoyment and assumption on accountability are interwoven. They do not contradict to each other. The effort and time on personal enjoyment does not equal to the ignorance on people's responsibility because of the objective requirement from each identity. Moreover, personal hobbies are good catalyst for improvement on the original professions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 641, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...r accountability which should be taken. Lets take a college student in art for examp...
^^^^
Line 5, column 24, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...f his major. In addition, to pursue ones personal enjoyment help to assume the r...
^^^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...s they like. Obviously, people lived in an time teemed with tense competition and ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
briefly, however, may, moreover, second, so, well, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, of course, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 8.0752688172 235% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2184.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 416.0 407.700716846 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99183739136 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 219.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.526442307692 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 705.6 618.680645161 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.3687031462 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.36 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.64 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8 5.45110844103 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.341083511505 0.236089414692 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0901025471359 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0943482253015 0.0737576698707 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.221688135142 0.150856017488 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0630423907962 0.0645574589148 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 58.1214874552 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.87 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 86.8835125448 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.