Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
A great deal of attention has been attracted to the private enjoyment actions among all people during the last two decades. There are a number of people who subscribe to the theory that most of the individuals spend more time on their hobbies and enjoyment-works, however, others disagree with this point. In my own perspective, I do believe that the first theory is much more believable than the second ones for two convincing reasons elaborated in the following paragraphs.
First of all, with the advent of modernity, the values of current people have been changing recently. To be more specific, having mental comfort people do consider the future a safe place, therefore, no need to working hard like past years is sensational in all societies. To illustrate this point, a new investigation was conducted in my own country, China, to prove the relation between development and tending more to do hobbies. The results demonstrated that more than 85 percent of people prefer to have more free time rather than do their own works. It also indicates that modern people, especially young boys and girls between the age of 18 to 26, try hard to escape from their responsibility in order to have fun with their friend. This study proposes the negative effect of the supporting behavior of most parents the main reason for this treatment in boys and girls.
Secondly, we all are susceptible to the influence of media like TV shows and movies. Indeed, a new approach toward life has been taken into account by those powerful bosses that the money in the first and most important purpose of the word. Therefore, they manage their programs on medias to tempt people to have a more comfortable life instead of trying hard for their goals. Our modern society in an interesting example of this theory. More than 20 years in China, all the medias are working to produce movies which can make people more interested in consuming and spending money. Myriad advertisements are shown constantly on TV providing a situation for individuals that spending money is a value. In this regard, people are convinced that doing personal enjoyments must be in their first preference.
In sum, above form aforementioned explanation, it is obvious that I do believe that modern people spend their time doing leisure activity. That is just because of the modernity that changes all the values and also for the effect of medias that tempt people to spend more money and have fun. Tha's why we are not on the appropriate line and should change our mind to have a better future.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, as to, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 43.0788530466 88% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 434.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89631336406 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68164062801 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523041474654 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 657.9 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.0206851984 48.9658058833 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.842105263 100.406767564 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8421052632 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.10526315789 5.45110844103 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.23252097929 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0748558869365 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0713387325223 0.0737576698707 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158740642947 0.150856017488 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0239272756468 0.0645574589148 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.