A university has money in its budget to do one thing to improve its facilities for students. It can either improve the quality of the technology (for example computers and printers) that it provides for students. Or it can redesign spaces where students hold club meetings and gather with friends in their spare time to make these areas more comfortable and appealing. Which idea do you prefer and why?
All the universities act like a factory that young inexperienced students are changed to adept skilled people. Therefore, it is absolutely important to pay attention to how the university budget is distributed. Some people believe that it is better to spend more money for improving the technology; however, others think that more budget should be allocated to renew the spaces such as club meetings. In my own perspective, I do believe that the second idea is more rational for two main reasons which are elaborated in the following paragraphs.
First of all, a new interesting design of spaces will lead to increasing not only the attraction of the students but also the successfulness in their courses. In fact, people, especially students, need some external incentive to push them forward in their life. My own experience is a compelling to support this concept. During my university period-5 years ago- when I was studying computer engineering at Shanghai University, we did not a place to rest, meet, and talk to our friends between our classes. Therefore, we always stayed in classes or went to a cafe that cost pretty much for us. Once the university has changed some spaces, a new interesting site was opened in the middle of our faculty. This was a place where all the students of the faculty even other departments came to have some fun with others. As a result, a good attraction for all the people has been aroused in where most of the students cooperate with each other in solving problems and doing projects. I have made perfect memories of that place and it was beneficial for me both in my interest and knowledge.
Second, the goal of young people in attending university is not just extending their academic abilities to get a job. Indeed, most students, like me, have another attitude in going to university. We should try to get experiences in other parts of our character such as our social ability which is satisfied through communications. For instance, when my brother was at the age of 17 had a shy character before entering university, he was not even able to talk with his classmates. However, he completely changed after graduating from the business department of the China University. What happened to him is a good example of the effect of university meeting places. They had an especial place to discuss their courses which were located outside of their academic building. In fact, they lived four years at that place, talking with each other, presenting different lectures, watching football games and etc. Consequently, their social abilities were strongly strengthened via this place and all of them are now well educated and well experienced in communications that helped them in getting perfect positions in high-level companies.
In sum, it is obvious from my explanation that redesigning some spaces for students to have a meeting club is desirable to get more money from the university budget. This is just because of the students' attraction, the effectiveness of their courses, and also gaining social abilities. That's why we should pay more attention to the atmosphere of a university.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 899, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...erent lectures, watching football games and etc. Consequently, their social abilities we...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 195, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ity budget. This is just because of the students attraction, the effectiveness of their ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 287, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...ses, and also gaining social abilities. Thats why we should pay more attention to the...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, in fact, such as, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2618.0 1977.66487455 132% => OK
No of words: 521.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02495201536 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90508789254 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 268.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514395393474 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 828.0 618.680645161 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.5049364004 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.72 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.84 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.48 5.45110844103 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171824202739 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0458572775093 0.076458572812 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0456058970618 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119732410894 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0451717203787 0.0645574589148 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 86.8835125448 146% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.